Loyal Supporters,
I know it's been a while since my last update. Let me begin with a note of gratitude to y'all.
Note: I'm not from the South, but some of my family is, and "y'all" is one of the most versatile and universally welcoming words, so I've pledged to use it more.
Thank y'all for helping me along this very fun, very wild pipedream. When I passed the Central Warehouse last summer and thought, "I wonder if I could get a giant Frankenfly on that ugly thing," I didn't know what the art series would look like. I didn't know who to talk to or if I could ever get a meeting with them. But I knew it was very thrilling to dream, and maybe it was just crazy enough to pull off. Maybe. That is the operative word. More on that word later.
First this…
I'm never the biggest guy in the room. For a lot of my life, that bothered me. It's taken years to be comfortable with it. At first, it was in the wrestling room, then the army, then jiu jitsu, then in my writing career, my sales career and many other facets of my life -- I seemed to always be the small going against the big. Combat sports have weight classes, sure, but not always on the mat while training. And not in a real life self-defense situation. You get who you get.
Some days that big is too Big, and I'm too overwhelmed to do much else.
Some days the Big is my divorce.
Some days the Big is loneliness, fear, sadness, grief.
Some days the Big is wondering how to raise children these days.
Some days the Big is getting laid off unexpectedly and unfairly.
Some days the Big is Lyme disease from a tick bite while camping with my kids. Um, yeah. 3 days of chills and body aches, plus 30 days of antibiotics so strong I'll probably be bacteria-free until my son graduates high school.
This was my 2023, y'all.
However, this was also my 2023:
I created the 4-part "Upstate of Mind" series for butterflying the Central Warehouse, which instantly became my personal favorite.
I landed on my feet with a great job selling wireless technology to New York State. Officially crushing it.
I took my kids to Disney World and Universal Studios.
I visited Montreal for the first time.
I traversed a ropes course with my kids along the breathtaking Ausable Chasm, NY.
I discovered an amazing swing dance club in Albany.
I learned how to do the Bachata at another dance club in Albany.
I started Muay Thai and MMA classes at my gym.
I played my first live solo acoustic gig -- with a real audience, for real money, right when I needed cash the most.
My cousin got married to the love of her life in Dallas, and the kids and I partied all weekend with them <3
I bought cowboy boots and committed to using y'all more often.
I was a keynote speaker about art therapy for veterans and was featured on the local news.
I worked more flea markets, farmers markets, and art festivals than ever.
I secured the domains ryan-smithson.com and frankenflies.com and created my own website.
I was invited to display art at 4 galleries.
I've been invited to create a community-led mural at the Sky High Adventure Center in Sand Lake, NY, which wouldn't be happening without this #ButterflyTheWarehouse project. More to come on that!
And last but not least -- just as my savings account was circling the drain of zeros -- while in between jobs and hustling Frankenlifes at an art festival, I sold the entire "Upstate of Mind" series. All 4. The payment covered my mortgage and kept me afloat during my last month of unemployment.
I look back with hindsight and think "Man, What if I didn't dream?"
It's important to point out that I am a blessed man with a strong support system, and I was never in real danger of going bankrupt or homeless. However, as a father of 2 school-age kids, 2 dogs, 6 chickens, and working since I was 15, suddenly being jobless was a very scary and humbling experience.
I made it, though, and I did it by chasing dreams. The Big hits all of us some days, and it might get the best of us. But other days, you have to find it in yourself to dream Bigger than the Big. It may not work out how you imagined, but that's part of the fun: watching how it does work out, after all.
So... an update on the Central Warehouse: as much as Jeff Buell and Redburn Development still want to revitalize the building -- and they might -- the final reports came back this year, making their uphill climb a bit steeper. They already knew that it was both expensive to tear down and expensive to rehab. It's a very strong, very well-engineered building. But some of the structural reports cause big concern for preservation, particularly that some of the walls/columns are leaning outward, meaning it's a matter of time before imminent collapse. In sum, they might tear it down anyway and my vision for "Upstate of Mind" may not happen exactly as imagined. Still, the journey was worth the ride, and thank y'all again.
After all this, here's what I've learned: I love being the little guy. I love when people underestimate me. I love proving them wrong. I've also learned that every successful person you know has this same ratio of failure -- maybe 100:1. You don't see the 99 heartbreaks. They're not celebrated on social media and they're not the first topic of conversation. They don't matter like the successes do. But they matter. They shape our journey by teaching us lessons. Important lessons like how to stay humble and why to stay kind.
In conclusion, while there's a smaller chance now that the Central Warehouse will live on, you have my word that whaveter Redburn Development builds in its place shall be Frankenflied. Of course you know I can't promise that, but I can dream...
Thanks for dreaming with me :)
Love and peace,
Ryan