Police update on my personal story 💜

Hey, 💜

I wanted to give everyone who has supported this petition an update because there has been a pretty major development for my personal case. 

I have now been informed by the police that my abuser is NOT currently eligible for early release under HDC.

I cannot even explain the relief I feel hearing those words. After everything I have been through with this man, the thought of him being released early and potentially being back in the community has absolutely terrified me. I have spent months living with that fear, having panic attacks, flashbacks, barely sleeping and constantly worrying about what could happen if he was released.

But there is another side to this update that I cannot just ignore.

I am now in the process of making a formal complaint to the probation services, because I was previously told that he was going to be eligible for early release. They confirmed this with the police who then confirmed it with me. 

And this wasn’t just something casually mentioned to me.

The police and probation had been communicating with each other about this, and I was told that he would be released early. I was then spoken to about what would happen if he was released, including gate arrests, licence conditions, non-contact conditions and exclusion zones.

Plans were being put in place as a precaution because I genuinely believed I was going to have to deal with the possibility of him being released.

The police have now explained to me that the officer was passing on the information she had been given, and that ultimately the prison has the final say on HDC, with probation providing a report supporting or not supporting release.

I understand that.

I also understand that different agencies rely on information from each other and that the HDC process is complicated.

But from a victim’s point of view, that doesn’t make the fear any less real.

I was told he was going to be released early.

I was told dates were changing.

I was spoken to about protective measures.

I was told about exclusion zones and licence conditions.

A gate arrest was discussed.

I spent months preparing myself mentally for the possibility that the person who has caused me years of fear could be released back into the community.

I took the extremely hard decision to speak publicly about some of the most painful parts of my life. 

And now I am being told that his release date isn’t being affected by the new early release scheme and that HDC appears to have been turned down.

The police have told me they are seeking further clarification so that we can finally get clear dates and know exactly where we stand.

I am incredibly grateful that he is not being released early. I genuinely am.

But I also think it is completely understandable that I am asking:

Why was I put through all of this?

Why was I left terrified for months?

Why was I preparing myself for something that now appears not to be happening?

I have to be honest — it has had a huge impact on me.

When you’ve already experienced years of domestic abuse, stalking, threats and trauma, being told that your abuser could potentially be released can completely consume you.

You don’t just hear those words and carry on with your day.

You live with them.

You think about them when you go to sleep.

You think about them when you wake up.

You worry about your home, your family, your safety and what could happen next.

And when you’ve already spent years trying to rebuild your life, being told that person may be coming back into the community can take you straight back to that place of fear.

I was literally ready to flee to another place for safety.. again. 

So yes, I am relieved.

Yes, I am grateful.

But I am also angry, frustrated and deeply upset that I have been put through months of fear and uncertainty. I’m not his only victim living in fear either there’s loads of us. 

I don’t blame the individual officers who were trying to help me. I know they were acting on the information they had been given and I am genuinely grateful for the work they have done to try and keep me safe the police are just as frustrated as I am.

But I do believe there need to be questions asked about how information is communicated between agencies and how victims are kept informed.

Because when you’re a victim, information isn’t just information.

It can be the difference between feeling safe and feeling terrified. 

And this is exactly why I am not stopping this petition.

This petition was never just about one person.

It started from my own experience, but it has grown into something much bigger.

I have now spoken to and met so many survivors who have trusted me with their stories. People who have lived through horrific abuse, repeat offending, broken orders, fear and uncertainty about what happens when their abuser is released.

They have trusted me with their experiences.

And I don’t take that lightly.

There are victims and survivors across the country who are affected by early release schemes, changing sentencing rules, repeat offending, risk management and decisions about when dangerous offenders return to the community.

There are people who are terrified of what happens when their abuser comes out.

There are people who don’t know what information is correct.

There are people relying on different agencies to communicate properly.

And there are people who may not have the support or confidence to keep asking questions when something doesn’t feel right.

That worries me.

I don’t want another survivor spending months terrified because they have been given incorrect or unclear information.

I don’t want another victim having to relive years of trauma every time an offender’s release date changes.

And I don’t want victims feeling like they are just a number in a system where different agencies are passing information between each other while they are left sitting at home terrified.

So although my ex is now not due for release for around another 9 months minimum, this campaign is still incredibly important to me.

If anything, this experience has made me even more determined.

I will continue with this petition.

I will continue speaking to survivors.

I will continue raising awareness about early release, repeat offending, victim safety and failures within the system.

And I will continue asking difficult questions.

Not because I want to attack individuals, but because victims deserve accurate information, proper communication and to have their safety taken seriously.

This campaign is bigger than my own situation now.

I have people who have trusted me with their stories, and I intend to keep fighting for all of us.

Thank you to every single person who has signed, shared, donated, messaged me, told me your story or simply stood beside me through this.

This started with my own fear.

But it has become about so much more than one person.

One survivor getting an answer isn’t enough.

We need a system that works for all survivors.

Victim safety matters.

Accurate information matters.

Accountability matters.

Survivors matter.

And I’m not done. 💜