Avenge Big Balls, Federalize DC

Avenge Big Balls, Federalize DC

Signataires récents:
Christopher Minneman et 10 autres ont signé récemment.

Le problème

Recently, Edward Coristine, a former DOGE employee, fondly known as "Big Balls," was violently assaulted in Washington, D.C., near Logan Circle.

Eight thugs attempted to attack a woman and steal her car, and Big Balls fearlessly intervened, and was brutally beaten for his trouble.

 

Big Balls

 

 

This is just the latest tragic event in the sad history of the decline of public safety in the District. 

Just a month ago, Eric Tarpinian-Jachym, a 21-year-old congressional intern for Rep. Ron Estes of Kansas, a rising senior at UMass-Amherst, was shot and killed. He took a stray bullet because a bunch of thugs shot at another group of thugs. Tarpinian-Jachym's family and colleagues described him as hardworking, selfless, and determined, with aspirations to live and work in DC. 

Kids like Tarpinian-Jachym and Big Balls are the best of America, selfless,  talented, dedicated young men who want to serve their country. And we allow the worst dregs of humanity to victimize them.

As you know if you're reading this, it's not just these two incidents. Over the past five years, public safety and quality of life in the District has been an increasing disaster. 

65% of Washington DC residents now consider crime an "extremely serious" problem, up from 56% just last year while the percentage feeling "somewhat safe" in their neighborhoods has plummeted from 77% to 70%, meanwhile a staggering 42% of residents report that they or someone close to them has been a victim of violent crime in the past five years. DC ranks behind all but one state for retail theft. New viral videos of daylight robberies in the District come out seemingly every day, while in every grocery store, basic products are locked behind glass cases. The homelessness crisis continues exploding, with encampments seemingly everywhere. 

The collapse of basic civic order in the capital of the greatest country on Earth is a national and international humiliation for America. 

And we all know the culprit: home rule. DC simply has never had competent government, and it is famously one of the most corrupt city governments in the country (which is a high bar). There are now 4 different active FBI investigations into DC Mayor Muriel Bowser's administration. Councilman Trayon White, accepted $156,000 in cash bribes on FBI surveillance cameras, stuffing envelopes full of money into his jacket pocket while selling out $5.2 million in city contracts. The mayor's former chief of staff was forced out after a sexual harassment scandal involving "unwelcome touching of a sexual nature" and "exposing his sexual organs" to city employees, costing taxpayers an undisclosed settlement. The list goes on. 

The District recklessly expanded its budget from $15.1 billion to $19.8 billion using 4.7 billion in temporary federal pandemic relief, and now faces financial catastrophe as that money runs out. Between 2020 and 2024, the city's recurring revenue was a staggering 4.5% below recurring expenditures, filling the gap with $5.6 billion in temporary resources that have now vanished, in a display of staggering financial incompetence. 

The problem is systemic. It's always been like this, as anyone who knows the history of the city knows. 

It needs to end, and the only way it can end, the only way DC can have the kind of glory that the capital of a great nation should have, is to recognize that home rule has been a failed experiment. 

Which is why we, the undersigned, call on President Trump to forcefully support a bill to restore Federal control of the District of Columbia, and to use every executive authority available to him to assert Federal control over the District of Columbia. 

Make DC Great Again!

 

avatar of the starter
Policy SPHERELanceur de pétitionPolicySphere is a news publication for policy professionals in DC.

16

Signataires récents:
Christopher Minneman et 10 autres ont signé récemment.

Le problème

Recently, Edward Coristine, a former DOGE employee, fondly known as "Big Balls," was violently assaulted in Washington, D.C., near Logan Circle.

Eight thugs attempted to attack a woman and steal her car, and Big Balls fearlessly intervened, and was brutally beaten for his trouble.

 

Big Balls

 

 

This is just the latest tragic event in the sad history of the decline of public safety in the District. 

Just a month ago, Eric Tarpinian-Jachym, a 21-year-old congressional intern for Rep. Ron Estes of Kansas, a rising senior at UMass-Amherst, was shot and killed. He took a stray bullet because a bunch of thugs shot at another group of thugs. Tarpinian-Jachym's family and colleagues described him as hardworking, selfless, and determined, with aspirations to live and work in DC. 

Kids like Tarpinian-Jachym and Big Balls are the best of America, selfless,  talented, dedicated young men who want to serve their country. And we allow the worst dregs of humanity to victimize them.

As you know if you're reading this, it's not just these two incidents. Over the past five years, public safety and quality of life in the District has been an increasing disaster. 

65% of Washington DC residents now consider crime an "extremely serious" problem, up from 56% just last year while the percentage feeling "somewhat safe" in their neighborhoods has plummeted from 77% to 70%, meanwhile a staggering 42% of residents report that they or someone close to them has been a victim of violent crime in the past five years. DC ranks behind all but one state for retail theft. New viral videos of daylight robberies in the District come out seemingly every day, while in every grocery store, basic products are locked behind glass cases. The homelessness crisis continues exploding, with encampments seemingly everywhere. 

The collapse of basic civic order in the capital of the greatest country on Earth is a national and international humiliation for America. 

And we all know the culprit: home rule. DC simply has never had competent government, and it is famously one of the most corrupt city governments in the country (which is a high bar). There are now 4 different active FBI investigations into DC Mayor Muriel Bowser's administration. Councilman Trayon White, accepted $156,000 in cash bribes on FBI surveillance cameras, stuffing envelopes full of money into his jacket pocket while selling out $5.2 million in city contracts. The mayor's former chief of staff was forced out after a sexual harassment scandal involving "unwelcome touching of a sexual nature" and "exposing his sexual organs" to city employees, costing taxpayers an undisclosed settlement. The list goes on. 

The District recklessly expanded its budget from $15.1 billion to $19.8 billion using 4.7 billion in temporary federal pandemic relief, and now faces financial catastrophe as that money runs out. Between 2020 and 2024, the city's recurring revenue was a staggering 4.5% below recurring expenditures, filling the gap with $5.6 billion in temporary resources that have now vanished, in a display of staggering financial incompetence. 

The problem is systemic. It's always been like this, as anyone who knows the history of the city knows. 

It needs to end, and the only way it can end, the only way DC can have the kind of glory that the capital of a great nation should have, is to recognize that home rule has been a failed experiment. 

Which is why we, the undersigned, call on President Trump to forcefully support a bill to restore Federal control of the District of Columbia, and to use every executive authority available to him to assert Federal control over the District of Columbia. 

Make DC Great Again!

 

avatar of the starter
Policy SPHERELanceur de pétitionPolicySphere is a news publication for policy professionals in DC.

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Pétition lancée le 7 août 2025