Dear Amazon,

You will lose money on this. You will not be successful. The millions of fans that made Peter Jackson a success will not buy into your modernization of the timeless creation of Tolkien's. 

If you fail to deliver what the fans desire and hope for, your team will gain nothing but ridicule and criticism. You wont make money. You wont get hired. Your creation will be forgotten and rejected by the end of your first season.

Please, keep it tasteful. This is beyond nudity and sex. 

The sorts of things I'm expecting from this show might be equivalent to what "they" always condemn their adversaries of doing. This would be nothing short of "cultural appropriation"-- a sexualization of virtuous fantasy. 

I may sound ranty, but I'm disgusted. I'm sick of the constant bastardizations of the purest stories. I'm sick of having innocent culture ripped away and porno-fied by people who don't care, by people who aren't fans, by people who would criticize Tolkien for his tastefulness.

1. If there's nudity-

We are turning it off.

2. If there's homosexual agenda-

We are turning it off.

3. If there's a politicizing of material-

We are turning it off.

4. If there is garbage plot, that relies on only shock value -

We are turning it off.

5. If there's anything that goes beyond the style of Aragorn/Arwen romance-

We are turning it off.

-Brian, the Tolkien enthusiast. (If you guys don't get where I'm going with this, just look up the "Tolkien Societies" lectures.)

THEY ARE HIJACKING MIDDLE EARTH.