Banish the Beard!
This petition had 3,197 supporters
Alex Turner, the critically acclaimed and adored by many lead singer of the Arctic Monkeys had the opportunity to age like fine wine. It all went so dreadfully wrong, however, when he decided to grow a beard.
Maybe he likes his beard? Maybe it's part of his creative process? Maybe we all would do it if we had to get over Alexa Chung?
While all of these are fair enough reasons, the beard is ultimately to Mr Turner's detriment. Visually unappealing, its ginger colour strikes you - and not in a good way - contrasting with his famously deep brown hair and eyes. Genetics gave him many opportunities in this life, an iconic signing voice, facial structure that could cut a man. They did not, however, give him the opportunity to look good with a beard. Or even to properly grow one. But God loves a trier and so he tried, and I'm not too sure if he knows how miserable the visual result is.
Perhaps even more vitally, Alex has let himself into a giant summer tour, spanning many European countries this year. If this beard keeps growing, will us fans even be able to hear that voice from behind the beard? We may never know - but sign this petition and we may never have to know.
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