BREAKING NEWS: Arne Slot Fired From Liverpool FC With Immediate Effect

Dear Liverpool fans,

It took six months and seven days of our dignity nosediving off a cliff, but the news has FINALLY come. Arne Slot has been sent packing by FSG!

We won't have to play "slow, controlled football" again.

We won't be doing low-blocks in Champions League quarterfinals.

Players will be benched when they perform badly (i.e. Gakpo) again.

We'll have a manager who knows how to coach players again.

This is a relief and a cause for celebration. Our dignity and honor will be restored to us.

Thank you to everybody who's signed and shared this petition, as well as the other thirty-something petitions on Change.org. I don't know if our petitions brought this decision to life, but they definitely showed that we were not taking this anymore.

"Slot Out" has finally happened!

Let's celebrate!