More than 6 million children in the United States are living in households headed by grandparents or other relatives. These caregivers are taking on the responsibility without the children’s parents present.

Grandparents assuming the responsibility for grandchildren can easily become overwhelmed by issues related to parenting and discipline. Society has changed since they were parents, and though many behavior issues are common regardless of the generation, these societal changes often pose difficult problems because many of these children have come from a traumatic environment, their behavior patterns may differ from other children in their age group, causing further parenting concerns.

The grandparent-grandchild family type is relatively unstructured and lacks formality of organization. The role of the grandparent conjures up images of traditionally held expectations of visiting and not interfering with parental discipline.  Grandparents that assume the parental role must accept that they are the disciplinarian, provider, and authority figure in a parent-child relationship.

Grandparent caregivers experience tension between the desire to be indulgent grandparents and the need to take firm parental stance. This results in major role conflict.  Other issues related to grandparent caregivers include; health and age related issues; impacts on family relationships, social isolation; physical and mental stress; and financial difficulties. These issues can create extreme stress, which in turn may cause physical and mental health problems, such as exhaustion or depression.

Many of these grandparents have to deal with their resentment toward the grandchild’s parents; others view the failure of the parent as their own failure and feel responsible and overwhelmed with guilt. There are drastic changes in their social lives and loss of time for themselves and their dream of retirement. All of the stressors can do damage to their marriage.

Counseling should be mandated by the courts for grandparents who are given custodial rights to their grandchildren.  The grandparents should also be required to obtain counseling for the grandchildren as well. Just as foster parents have special requirements to care for foster children, so should anyone who takes on the challenge of raising someone else's children.

 Thank you,

Laurie Trotter
Kellie Weems
Alma Ramirez
Yolanda Shamlin-Shields
Ladondra Wilson