Please. Stop. Wearing. That. Hat.
Because your hair is pretty. Because you practically invented the man-bun, and now we can’t see it. Because it is not sunny inside or at night, and so avoiding the sun is not a good reason. Because it makes it harder to sit close to you. Or see past you in a movie. Because variety is the spice of life. Because it must be very, very dirty inside that hat by now. Because no one should wear a hat all the time…and never, ever, ever in the bath. We the signers do this out of both love and concern. Mostly love though.