Humans Against Trump
Replace the F-word with 'Trump'.
We humans have been using the F-word for a very long time now. While it's a nifty, useful little word, some may argue that it's getting a little stale. So how about we freshen things up a bit? With great enthusiasm, I'm proposing that we replace the word 'FUCK', along with all of its conjugations, derivatives and verbal applications with the word 'TRUMP'. Everyday examples? Sky's the limit. Trump you. Go trump yourself. Wow, my bunghole trumpin' hurts right now. You trumping mothertrumper, you. Trumpall. I don't give a flying trump. Hello! How the trump are you? Oh, trump it. Trump it to hell! Boiiiii, I'm so trumped up right now! Trumpetytrumptrumptrump. Untrumpingbelievable! Trump that shit. Trump off. Trump if I know. Check out those awesome, pink leather trump-me boots! Fan-trumping-tastic. Etc... Feel free to be creative. Basically, I'm asking you to try it for a week, and encourage others to do so also. Use the T-word at work, at home, on social media. Use it whenever you stub your toe, hit your head, or feel like insulting somebody who cuts you off when driving. Believe me, it'll stick. And if you don't swear much, feel free to clean it up a bit and stick to expressions like 'T-you, you Teeing so-and-so'. As a species, if we can adopt this linguistic change and keep it rolling for a while, it may become an official part of our Lexicon for centuries ahead. I look forward to a future where jetpack wearing cyborg teenagers call each other 'trumpwits' or 'trumping douche nozzles'. BONUS: This may annoy Donald Trump! So go ahead! Please sign the petition as a pledge to personally start replacing the F-word with the T-word. Share this with friends, family and that guy who's giving you a funny look at the Laundromat when your hurl T-bombs at the dryer that's not working well. Every signature on this petition sends a message to the Oxford English Dictionary people, so there's a chance this could end up in the official lexicon someday. Oh, and if this takes off, my sincere apologies to the actual verb 'Trump', which means ''To beat (someone or something) by saying or doing something better.''. May I humbly suggest that for the duration of this experiment, anybody wishing to use the verb 'Trump' (without its unsavoury association to the recently-elected leathery tangerine glob of racist protoplasm) simply use one of the following delightful synonyms: outshine, outclass, upstage, eclipse, surpass, outdo, outperform; beat, better, top, cap Thank you! And if you didn't sign, Trump you! PS: I strongly urge you to not apply this word swap during lovemaking, sexual innuendos, or any romantic activities of any kind. There is no greater turn-off on the planet than the T-word. At the risk of severely impacting your vigour and libido, please restrict yourselves to blasphemy-swaps only.