I cannot remember the last time I felt as low as I do now. I'm not sad or angry, more-so traumatized. I've listened to the females in my family and life share their stories of times they were sexually harassed by those close to them, people they thought they could trust and love. I never once in my life expected what happened to them, to happen to me.

Matthew L. Smith, my mom's husband was introduced into my sister's lives and mine as well. I didn't approve at first, but I realized that if my mom were happy, he couldn't be too bad. I was wrong. I remember my oldest sister showing me my step-dad's face on a site- that was when I learned he was a sexual offender against a young girl who was around 13-15 years old before he moved to Michigan because of my mom.

I was disgusted and worried, knowing I had 2 younger sisters very close to that age that spent a lot of time with my mom and step-dad. It didn't take long for us to ask my mom why she hid something so big from us, and of course, Matthew immediately denied everything. He said he was framed by his ex girlfriend and her daughter, and he was actually believable. I didn't know he was manipulating not only myself, but my entire family.

I gave up holding that against him, because my mom loves him and finally got married again after so many years. I lived with my dad during this time, but once I heard my mom was finally able to get a home of her own, I was excited for her. The first thing Matthew asked me, was if I was going to live with them.

I was distant with Matthew for clear reasons, but I still loved my mom. I missed her when she left to meet him after they chatted online, so I weighed my options for a couple weeks and decided to give it a try. My plan was to rekindle my relationship with my mom after she was absent for years.

July 2nd, we finished most of the heavy unpacking and had a nice and small housewarming party. 2 out of 5 of my sisters were there, my boyfriend, 2 of my mom's friends, and Matthew. Everyone was drinking except for my youngest sister, my boyfriend, and myself. But that changed after Matthew handed me a cup, telling me I had to drink it all because it's "family tradition". I just wanted to go to sleep, I was tired after moving and unloading furniture for 2-3 days. But he kept insisting, even after I only took a small sip to see if that were good enough. But, it wasn't.

Everyone stayed downstairs for a bit, until my boyfriend and I were getting tired and said we were going to lay down up in my room. Matthew followed us, asking if we wanted backrubs. (I have scoliosis, which he frequently used as an excuse to try and touch under my shirt)

We didn't want to be mean or upset him, so we said sure. I don't know what Matthew did, but he was rubbing around my boyfriend's neck, and within seconds he just passed out instantly. I was already half asleep, but once he pressed on my neck in the same way, I fell asleep.

I barely slept for even a few minutes before I was awake again- my eyes were closed, but I could feel and see vaguely from the small slits your eyes would do if you were pretending to sleep after being awake past bedtime.

I won't go into great details about this to prevent causing severe triggers to anyone who had been in my position, but all I can say is I wish I made it known I was awake. maybe if I had, he wouldn't have been able to do what he did. If I had woken up my boyfriend beside me, if I screamed and cried for my mom, or kicked him off of me.

But I didn't. I was too scared and felt as if I wasn't even in my body during that time. But I was. I have terrible nightmares. I can barely sleep even with melatonin. Anytime I see a red truck on the street, I start crying and praying it's not him in that truck. I just want to be happy. I don't want to be scared anymore.

Please help me get justice, to get him the sentence he deserves. I'm terrified for my 13 year old sister who lives in a house with him and my mom. I'm terrified that another lonely and single mother with young girls will let him into their lives, and he will destroy their family too.