I am a simple bean who loves my girlfriend and my friends. As I am also a Cultured Bean, I have friends in many places, all over the world.  

Recently this has let me to discover the horrifying truth of time zones; its homophobia.
Because of time-zones, I can only talk to my friends in the evening, when its early morning for them. Because of timezones, my girlfriend sees me almost exclusively as a very tired bean. It is impossible to calculate the time-zones right. Only airplane staff has been able to do so, and as we all know: airplane staff are not human, nor constricted to this plane of reality (they are only constricted to the plane of the Sky, to which they bound their souls). But I'm not them! I am a simple gay and can't do math. 
Time-zones are inconveniencing me greatly. 

And that's homophobic! I thought. And I cannot be the only one. 

Help me make a change, for better or worse. Together we can stop time-zones, and make a better tomorrow. For the children!