Give Ajit Pai a Swirly

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As the unelected chairman of the FCC, Ajit Pai has moved to repeal the FCC's Net Neutrality rules.

The maintaining of Net Neutrality is one of the only political issues our country seems to agree on, with 83% of Americans disapproving of the FCC's proposal to repeal the policy. The choice to repeal this is extremely undemocratic, and frankly, a brazen giveaway to the telecom monopolies like Comcast and Verizon, the latter of which Mr. Pai worked for as "Associate General Council", where he handled competition matters, regulatory issues, and counseling of business units on broadband initiatives.

On top of this, Ajit Pai is a huge dork and condescending prick. Thus, his clear betrayal of the American people in service of his telecom pals is not only an obvious conflict of interest, but a perfect example of what happens when a dork is not put in his place.

To amend this injustice, and preserve an open and free internet for all for many years to come, I move for the American People to give Ajit Pai the most righteous swirly this nation has ever seen. May justice be swift, and may the flushing waters wash away Mr. Pai's other treasonous machinations once and for all. May he emerge soaked in a public servant's understanding and new appreciation of precisely whomst he is meant to serve.



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