A Parent's Love

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March 18, 2013

Angela Stanley and I, entered into a Civil Union in which case she would agree to take my last name; thus legally changing her name to, Angela Hackney. This was a good day and the beginning of the rest of our lives. Following our civil union and after being told that Angela only had up-to one year to try and conceive a child due to Endometreosis, her and I discussed this fragile matter at great lengths and decided together that we would do so. This too, was a good day.

Our child was conceived in our home by way of a most gracious doner {doner will remain anonymous} via a sperm injected syringe that I personally injected myself. ’SHE’S PREGNANT!’ After finding out that Angela was pregnant, I immediately became the other parent with equal and invaluable worth. This was an incredible day.

2 Kings 4:30

The mother of the lad said, “As the Lord lives and as you yourself live, I will not leave you.” And he arose and followed her.

June 20, 2013—12:07 p.m. Our beautiful gift from God had arrived. Mason Isaac Stanley-Hackney. This was the greatest day of my life.

On October 6, 2013, same-sex marriag became legal in the state of Virginia. On behalf of our son and for all intended legal purposes, Angela and I decided that we would legally wed on October 20, 2013. In Wise, Virginia in front of the Justice of the Peace, we did just that. This too, was a great day.

I made the medical decisions about our son. Every pediatrician that was picked out. Every appointment and doctor’s visit he went to. Even down to his shot schedules. I carefully and responsibly made those decisions for him. I was even named and put down as his other parent for his head-start program. This would include dropping him off, picking him up and everything in between. Mason was even named after my grandmother‘s father. I would say that that is pretty equal and involoved in Mason’s life when comparing the  aspect of Angela just carrying and giving birth to him. Wouldn’t you agree?

Angela and I separated when Mason was just three years of age due to discrepancies on my part which I’ve never denied nor will I ever. There is absolutely no excuse whatsoever for stepping out of a marriage but I did have my own reasons. Angela had been neglecting me at the most inopportune times when I needed her most. Gradually over time, I didn’t feel important enough to her anymore. I no longer felt that loving, warm and compassionate feeling I did at the beginning of our beautifully yet brief marriage. 

I filefor equal rights to our son, including but not limited to; Joint Custody. I was denied!

No parent, same-sex or straight, should be told something so inhumane as I was when I was denied rights to my son. The son that I selflessly devoted every waking moment to because I love him indefinitely and endlessly. Nor should they be told that they are not good enough to be in their child‘s life. Nor does anyone have the right to tell a loving and nurturing parent {biological or not} that they aren’t good enough to be that child‘s parent just because their DNA doesn’t match. Even more-so when that person has unconditionally loved, cared for and nurtured that child from the beginning, during and after conception.

Phillipians 4:6

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything in prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be known to God.

Mason is almost five now...

My hope for you is... 

May you never know that gut-wrenching feeling of missing your child’s birthday and watching their faces when they blow out the candles. Or when they open the presents you swore you’d never get them because you wanted them to stay a baby and little forever {at least a little while longer}. May you never miss another holiday like Christmas when you get to read ‘Twas the night before Christmas’ and bake cookies with them to leave out for Santa with a cold glass of milk. Missing out on singing Christmas carols to your community with your child doesn’t feel so good either. May you never have to feel that broken hearted, empty, bottomless-pit or overwhelming feeling of never ending sadness that comes with knowing you will never get to make those memories again nor will you ever get a chance to have that time again. 

If you do decide to sign my petition, which is completely your choice, and or leave a comment on why you are in fact signing it—I need to further tell you that this is no longer ‘my petition’ but instead, OUR JOURNEY TOGETHER!

I’d like to thank you ever so kindly for just reading this even if you don’t sign it and I appreciate you indefinitely... 

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