The world is getting tired of watching the tensions between Russia and Ukraine unfold so slowly. We want to see some action now! 

Not war though, let's skip the whole part where we throw rocks at each other like little kids, watch all the nice houses get wrecked, thousands of people die, and generally, everybody loses. 

Instead, We, the undersigned, propose to hold a 1v1 Mixed Martial Art Match between

Vladimir Putin
President of Russia
Blackbelt Judoka

vs

Vitali Klitschko
Mayor of Kiew
Boxing Heavyweight "Champion Emeritus"

The fight shall be conducted over 5 rounds à 4:20 minutes, with a neutral jury on neutral ground on the border between Russia and Ukraine. Everything will be fair and square.  

If Klitschko wins, Russia has to give back Crimea and leave Ukraine alone. 
If Putin wins, Russia gets Ukraine. 

Both contenders are solid and experienced martial artists. The world will have an interesting and exciting fight to watch. It will be televised worldwide, called by Mr. Joe Rogan, and all proceeds go to charitable COVID-19 relief funds. 

Let's settle this conflict once and for all, like real sportsmen!