Ban Bathroom Attendants

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I, Matt Conajam, am forming a petition to ban bathroom attendants from bars and restaurants. They serve little purpose, the situation is uncomfortable, and I feel it shouldn’t cost money for me to wash my hands.

“But this means we’ll have to fire said attendants, and this will not bode well for their self-esteem/the economy,” you might surmise. WRONG. They won’t be fired, they’ll be relieved of their duties. Very different. And science has proven, I assume, that patrons flee the bathroom with their contaminated fingers rather than tip/interact with the bathroom attendant. Think of the germs that have been spread. Think of the sick days. Workplace illness costs the U.S. economy $576 billion a year. I have reason to believe that this is all caused by bathroom attendants.

Let's band together to ban bathroom attendants.



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