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-W. H. Auden
"The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it."
Two girls friends of mine were bullied to suicide. Others were bullied in depressions. It's a evil world and we must stop it! Bullying, sexual and domestic violence are the most reasons for suicides, that is worldwide fact.
Why Women Are The Worst Kind of Bullies!Women can be nastier bullies than men, at the workplace. What's the best way to deal?When Lady Gaga declared her hero was Emily-Anne, the 18-year-old pioneer of WeStopHate.org against teen bullying, I could completely identify. I had a flashback to my traumatic adolescent years. The memories alone made me feel like Emily-Anne could be my hero too.
Female bullying is so prevalent at the workplace. Adults are facing it pretty tough, with woman-on-woman harassment on the rise. Thirty-five percent of Americans reported being bullied at work, according to a 2010 survey by the Workplace Bullying Institute. Women make much nastier office bullies than men, says psychologist Dr. Gary Namie, co-founder of the Institute.
Workplace bullying is four times more common than sexual harassment and racial discrimination, found the same study. Girls are taught to be critical about each other from adolescence, and it's particularly vicious among working women; from playing favourites to badmouthing colleagues. Common careers where women face bullying? Law, finance or any other job where “women feel the need to be hyper-aggressive to get ahead in a male-dominated environment,” says Dr. Namie.
Debra Falzoi, a communications coordinator who was terrorized by a female boss at a Boston university, says:
“My female bully lied and gossiped about me and others. She used all indirect tactics. I have seen men also use indirect bullying tactics, but they're much less frequent, and they have seemed solely to protect their ego rather than proactive moves to sabotage.
Falzoi eventually quit her job after reporting the harassment. Her boss did nothing, despite multiple complaints against the same woman.
Samantha Brick, a British journalist, wrote a story titled: 'There are downsides to looking this pretty': Why women hate me for being beautiful. ' It went viral, supplemented by comments questioning her beauty. Some readers even called her "ugly as a troll." I'm not going to debate her story, but I thought the Financial Times Weekend published the best response to the media maelstrom. The controversy showed how women sabotage the careers of other women by being unsupportive, it said. The columnist highlighted "rope ladders," where women climb to senior positions, then promptly haul up the ladder right behind them. While some tactically avoid helping other women in their careers, others can resort to passive-agressive behavior to protect their interests.
“Women bullies will often befriend you and then air all your secrets later, in boardrooms or at office gatherings. I’ve had patients that just can’t trust again after being humiliated like that at work,” says Dr. Namie. The problem persists, as there are no anti-bullying ethics or law in practice, unlike legal protection against sexual harassment or racial discrimination. Less than one percent of co-workers will stand up when they see their colleagues tormented, fearing their own jobs.
There's only one truly effective way to report workplace bullying: treat it like a business problem. Dr. Namie says:
“Report to your superiors and make it a business case on how the bully is affecting your productivity and driving up absenteeism. The minute you talk about how emotionally traumatized you are, you’re unlikely to get any help.”
Your managers could brush it off by saying it’s a cultural difference or clash of ideas, he says. Follow your instincts if you think you’re in a hostile work environment, and report it the right way. The only time when you should leave your job without making a case is if you work in a small family-run business, according to him.
Bullying in the family is very common: The most bullies are female, mothers, grandmothers, sisters, aunts,Stepsisters, stepmothers, mothers-in-law, sisters-in-law, female cousins .In many parts of the world, this is a deadly game, with FGM, child marriages, forced marriages, honour killings, dowry murders.
Contrary to popular belief bullying doesn't disappear along with the acne, driving course and ACT prep tests of the teen years. In fact, it continues into adulthood and can be found in just about any setting. Aside from online bullying, workplace bullying and even sibling bullying, bullying also occurs in families among adults.
Sometimes family bullying happens simply because the adult bully has never learned how to relate in a healthy way. Other times it occurs because the family bully wants to manipulate and control situations. If you are faced with a bully in your family, here are some suggestions on how to handle the situation.
Avoid Getting Emotional
When dealing with a family bully, remain calm and avoid acting out in anger or frustration. You cannot control the bully, but you can control your reaction. Instead, remain calm and try to disengage from any interaction with the bully. Meanwhile, write down the incidents and include important details like the date, time, place, and type of incident. Doing so will help you identify any patterns in the behavior. What's more, this information will be useful down the road in avoiding further altercations with the bully.
Turn to Someone You Trust
Share the details of your experience with a trusted friend. The key is to find someone you can confide in. Steer clear of gossip, but look for someone who will support you when a bullying incident occurs. Some people opt for telling another family member instead of a friend, but be careful in doing so. Sometimes family members feel they need to "fix" the situation and will end up creating more problems in the process. The important thing is to talk to someone who will keep what you say in confidence and not make the situation more difficult. Just remember, it is never a good idea to keep silent about the bullying. Telling just one person can help you feel less isolated and alone. What's more, it helps to have someone listen to what you are experiencing and validate your feelings. Just be sure to pick someone you can trust.
Make a Choice
When the bullying occurs, you have a choice. You can leave, fire back with a witty comeback or try to ignore the bullying. But do not give the bully what he wants by reacting negatively or emotionally. Maintain your composure and be respectful. Just because the bully is behaving inappropriately does not give you license to behave that way too. Make every effort to maintain your dignity and choose how you want to respond.
When it comes to a family bully, it is important to create firm boundaries between you and the bully. For instance, if your husband’s aunt repeatedly insults your cooking and humiliates you in front of your guests, tell her that her comments are insulting and you want it to stop. If she continues, consider not inviting her to your home. Make yourself clear and stick to the rules you set. She may never change her behavior, but you do not have to tolerate it just because she is family. Anytime family members continue to cross the line in their treatment of you, you need to limit the amount of contact you have with them.
Anytime someone bullies you, it is important that you learn how to stand up for yourself. Being assertive means that you are honest about how you feel without acting aggressively, engaging in name-calling or being a bully yourself. Be specific about the problem without getting emotional. But be prepared for the bully to challenge your perceptions or tell you that you are being unrealistic or too sensitive. Do not own these accusations. They are just another attempt to control you or manipulate the situation. Try to say something like: "We are not talking about my emotions. We are discussing your behavior." Then, restate what you want to change.
Family bullies are able to quickly discern whom they can control and manipulate. Avoid looking nervous, insecure or defeated. No matter what happens when you set boundaries or assert yourself, stay strong. It’s also important to remain respectful and do not give in to any pressures from the bully.
Take Time to Recharge
Being around a bullying family member can be draining. Take time for yourself afterward. Go for a walk. Read a good book. Get a massage. The key is to do something that will help you de-stress and get rid of the negative energy that a bully brings. What’s more, if the family bullying begins to take a toll on your emotional health, be sure you look for a counselor that specializes in the family issues. And most importantly, limit your contact, or refuse to have any contact with the family member until she can treat you with respect.
Bullying in the family and at work is very common!
Here are two examples and my experiences:
My brother-in-law and half-brother (a great bastard) of my husband, the super-bully:
My brother-in-law, a wealthy and successful independent businessman, with mansions, houses at home and abroad, mobbed and terrorized everyone, invariably. He was also still a domestic violent offender, who abused my first sister-in-law and his two children and he was always unpunished. Above all, he humiliated my husband without end. He stopped at no one. From the beginning my brother-in-law terrorized me, harassed me and called me with vulgar sexist names. He always claimed that he had seen me in the city, especially in the red light district, with strange men, one time he was brought to lie because I was in bed in my parents home at the time with a dangerous pneumonia. Another time, when I was supposed to get an good apprenticeship at the tax office, he made a telephone call there, pretended to be my husband, and claimed that I was pregnant. I didn't get the job because of this great lie. He was obviously afraid that his machinations as tax consultants would be discovered by the tax office, which are probably not quite in order, because how do you become so rich as a tax consultant. That was just one of many intrigues against me. But he also used our bank accounts as a tax advisor and took money, there was only no report about that, because my mother-in-law threatened with suicide, if my husband and I were going to the police. The brother of my husband boasted in the presence of all acquaintances and relatives of homicide and rape of indios by him and his men in South America, where he had haciendas in Paraguay and Uroguay and he had also sex with female minors in Brazil and Florida. We think today that he had at that time connections to people, involved in human trafficking and arms smuggeling. My mother-in-law always said to me I should shut my mouth about that, otherwise it could be uncomfortable for me. All people at that time were silent, nobody was going to the police and I was a underaged girl and later a very young woman. If only one person went with me to the police, but they all were afraid, very afraid. Whenever we had family reunions, he always came too late, we were not allowed to start drinking coffee until he came, otherwise he was raging. His wife and children always came with blow marks, he constantly insulted me with sexually disgusting comments. I'm a very quick-witted and courageous person, I think, but I've been nearly assaulted by him on several occasions because I objected and stopped him to hit his children and his wife on the coffee table. In one case he wanted to beat the children and his wife at the birthday table of my mother-in-law before my eyes. I intervened and he said he like beating a bitch like me. After everyone was dumbfounded and trembling with fear, I said, go ahead, I've always wanted to use the bonecrusher trick from my judo course on a living subject. And another time, he said to my mother-in-law's old girlfriends that such women as me he would meet otherwise only in brothels. Yes, I said, it has been rumored that you are the main customer in our city brothel, there was now a syphillis epidemic. The two old ladies were trembling all over and snow-white. After a short time there was no contact with my brother-in-law until today. He verbally and physically terrorized and mistreated his female employees, a father of a underaged trainee complained to me that his daughter had almost committed suicide, I could only point out that he must contact a lawyer and police, what else couldnot done. The brother of my husband deceived and decimated all his business associates and friends. They all complained to me and my husband too about this. At the end, the old parents were on the line, first my very ill father-in-law, whom the brother of my husband accused in the hospital of being a simulant and that he was a case for the psychiatry. When I intervened, he terrorized my mother-in-law, telling her to ban me form visting the ill old man. He did not achieve that. When my father-in-law died, he bullied my seriously ill mother-in-law, along with his second wife, also very evil, who had just married him for the money and was a true luxury female. He humiliated my first sister-in-law and the children endlessly with his second wife. As my mother-in-law and her twin sister told me, before the divorce, they caught my second sister-in-law and my brother-in-law having sex in a toilet in a luxury restaurant while my first sister-in-law was still in the restaurant with the children. My second sister-in-law immediately after the divorce made sure that the children came out of the house as soon as they were of legal age. She said about me, that I would always look like a "catching a men" woman. That says that woman who has sex in a local toilet with a married man, my brother-in-law. As an female acquaintance of my first sister-in-law told me about my second sister-in-law, that this woman is damned calculating, because when she had a fight with my brother-in-law, she told this acquaintance in confidence that the man was disgusting and bad in sex, but her mother had said to her " lie down , close your eyes and think of all the money we have then. "Obviously, this tactic worked. When my mother-in-law, whom we cared for on her own, as well as for my father-in-law, although my brother-in-law had five minutes his office and his house, became ill during our vacation, a female neighbor asked my brother-in-law for help. That was a goddamn mistake, because he pushed her when he came almost down the stairs, screaming in rage, and my mother-in-law was forced by him and my sister-in-law to pack her things and the poor old woman was leave with their suitcases from my second sister-in-law in the doorway of a retirement home. In the meantime, my brother-in-law, sister-in-law, and playful grandson have looted my mother-in-law's account, along with the cleaning lady, sharing the most valuable stamps and coins from my father-in-law's collections, jewelry, and elegant clothing. When we got our mother-in-law out of the old people's home, the disaster had already happened. My mother-in-law threatened suicide if we went to the police. So she died completely broken in another modern retirement home, because it turned out that she had severe Alzheimer's. Before, my brother-in-law wrote two bad letters, we could take care of her now, he declines any responsibility. Well, evil exists, right.
My female boss (a great bloody bitch), the biggest bully of all time: I was a respected and skilled employee at my longtime company when my company merged. The people who then took over the helm of the company did a so-called restructuring , which means bullying, bossing, forced evictions, demolitions, transfers to worse jobs and all the nice things that happen under the word merger. Works councils and HR managers who wanted to help us were quickly mobbed away. When I resisted a compulsory transfer because I had a mother-in-law in need of care and a son in a primary school age, I got great problems. Instead of a forced corporate compulsory transferI got a less qualified job in a hotline. The local boss and her deputy were the worst mobbers I had ever experienced professionally. They worked together with two personnel officers and two works council members. These women bullied everyone and not a few out of the company. In sabotage of work and jobs they were world class.
Especially mothers were bullied, more than once said my boss, who is so stupid to get children, that was their own fault, they had better bought a dog like her. Although I volunteered several times to make a representation when toddlers of fellow women became very ill, the offer was not accepted by these malicious bitches and the mothers were warned in a cruel way because they stayed with their sick children.
When my computer program was repeatedly sabotaged, I notified the responsible ICT specialist and computer science engineer. When he tried to investigate, he was also bullied from the company, and the other ICT people in front of him, who were also investigating incidents, were transferred. My phone calls and emails with female HR staff were also monitored and these women were removed because they wanted to help me. I was particularly sorry for a works council chairman who was bullied into a mental collapse. It goes without saying that although I had a mother-in-law and a primary-school-age child on this hotline, I was mainly used for the unpopular early shifts and late shifts, meaning I saw damn little of my family. All my complaints died away without any help. In addition, more and more colleagues were bullied in nervous breakdowns, the others bullied with, here was no help to be expected. Every day, the mobbing club met in the company kitchen and smoked, while in the hotline, all the phones were switched to me, but it must be said that in our main company should still have later consequences. I kept a bullying journal and made a bullying complaint, as did another female boss who was bullied into a nervous breakdown. Decisive were above all the monitoring, sabotage, the daily insults and humiliations by my boss and her female friend, as well as the fact that in the end I almost worked alone, while my bullied female colleagues were ill and the bullies smoked and drank coffee. When I complained about sabotage, my working accounts was partially blocked for me by my female bullying boss and the blocking was not lifted despite the request by the personnel. Finally, my female boss noticed that I was busy writing down everything and she asked me what I was doing. Oh, I said, it really nice, what you say there, that complements my bullying diary perfectly, you have more, I think, I still miss a few sentences. She raged with a crimson head, but that did not help. In addition, there was actually a ban on smoking and I submitted several medical certificates that my lungs was harmed by smoking in the workplace. Even that had later consequences, my other female boss, who was bullied into a nervous breakdown, said only one sentence, Anita, I could kiss you. Finally, we were all invited to the main company and this department was closed, official reason was that an external company takes over. But the sparrows whistled from the rooftops that the hotline was closed because of bullying and bossing and the lazy bullies. That's what the colleagues in the main company told me, saying that it could not be that only one person, namely me, would work and would be reprimanded for it. Sometimes the good will win, right? The bullied fellows, the bullied superior and I were more than happy about it. Finally we got back to normal jobs.
The Eclipse of School Torment!: A Guide to End School Bullying / Arlene J Ramsey (Autor)
Described the problem and offered solutions, esp as it pertains to spotting signs of bullying before things get out of hand.
Bully on Campus & Online (Safety First)/ Kim Etingoff (Autor), Ronald Stephens (Künstler)
Discusses the issue of bullying, what makes it so dangerous, and how it can be prevented.
Anyone's Daughter: Amanda Todd, Bullying, Anonymous and the Dark Side of the Internet / Quinn Alexander (Autor)
You know the story, now learn the truth. Amanda Todd was an ordinary Canadian girl who made the mistake of flashing online. An online predator captured the image and used it to blackmail her. When she refused to give in to his demands, he sent the image to her classmates, friends and family. What followed was harrowing few months of bullying that culminated in Todd's suicide at age 15. Anyone's Daughter explores how that could happen to a girl like Todd and examines the intense, worldwide and sometime horrific reaction to her gut-wrenching YouTube video and the anti-bullying crusade that followed.
Beating the Workplace Bully: A Tactical Guide to Taking Charge/Lynne Curry (Autor)
They used to steal your lunch money and throw spit wads at you on the bus. Now they roam around from the boardroom to the break room looking to manipulate, intimidate, and humiliate--and eventually ruin your career!Beating the Workplace Bully is your ammunition for fighting back. Whether the bully is a boss or a coworker, this empowering guide will help you recognize what has been causing you to become a victim, then reveals how to: Avoid typical bully traps Remain aware and in charge Move past your fear Calm yourself in any confrontation Keep your dignity intact Handle sneak attacks Combat cyberbullying And moreComplete with exercises, assessments, and real-life examples, this personal coaching program will help you reclaim your power and defeat the office bully once and for all!
Not All Bullies Yell and Throw Things: How to Survive a Subtle Workplace Bully/Glory Borgeson (Autor)
Helpful book for anyone that has dealt with this serious issue.
Sexual Harassment and Bullying: A Guide to Keeping Kids Safe and Holding Schools Accountable/Susan Strauss (Autor)
Despite headlines that label all harassment among youth as bullying, there is in fact a difference between sexual harassment and bullying. This book discusses the similarities and important differences between the two, offering firsthand accounts from victims and others involved in combating the activities that victimize students. It provides parents, youth advocates, scout leaders, and other concerned adults with practical steps to partner with schools to prevent and intervene on the behaviors to help keep kids safe. The book clearly identifies the steps to take to hold schools accountable when a student has been harassed or bullied, even when the school is not stopping the behavior. Providing examples throughout the work, Strauss helps readers become better acquainted with the various activities that constitute sexual harassment and bullying and what they can do to combat the problem.
Bullies in the Family: A Guide to Stopping Family Bullying (Act Right Bully Series, Band 1)/Johanna Sparrow (Autor)
There are some people that you’re just not going to like or get along with, and unfortunately, they may be in your family. Most of the people I know seem to have a certain family member that causes gatherings to end on a sour note no matter how good of a time everyone has been having. The rest of the family pulls together to attempt to calm this person down, but it never seems to work. As a result, several family members end up confused, disrespected, and bullied before the night is over. We all know who they are and find them unpleasant to be around.
Bullied To Death: A Story Of Bullying, Social Media, And The Suicide Of Sherokee Harriman/ Judith A. Yates (Autor)
On September 5, 2015, in a public park in LaVergne, Tennessee, fourteen-year-old Sherokee Harriman drove a kitchen knife into her stomach as other teens watched in horror. Despite attempts to save her, the girl died, and the coroner ruled it a “suicide.” But was it? Or was it a crime perpetuated by other teens who had bullied her?
Sherokee’s short life and tragic death created a national media and social media frenzy much of it centered on sensationalism rather than the truth. Meanwhile in LaVergne, the community sought answers to questions about who, if anyone, should be held criminally responsible for “bullying.”
Award-winning author and criminologist Judith A. Yates peels back the layers of sensational news coverage surrounding a girl’s death, and in context with national interest in the phenomenon of internet bullying tries to answer the question of whether Sherokee Harriman was BULLIED TO DEATH.
I Am Me: Survivor of Child Abuse And Bullying Speaks Out/Patrick Dati (Autor)
I AM ME
Survivor of Child Abuse and Bullying Speaks Out
The true story about a person that chooses no longer to live as a victim but became a survivor.
Do you view yourself as a victim and unaware how to overcome abuse?
Do you need help conquering your demons and coming to terms with the nightmare of your past?
Are you clueless on how to walk away from the individuals that hurt you and stand up for yourself?
In this book you will:
You will learn how to achieve strategies for survival and healing.
Discover ways to help survivors identify and validate their childhood experience with child abuse and bullying.
Identify and come to terms with your sexuality and not to hide who you really are to please others.
Learn that suicide is not the way out and choosing to survive and take control of your life.
Find the person you were meant to be and accept who you are and love yourself.
Nobody's Victim: Fighting Psychos, Stalkers, Pervs and Trolls/Carrie Goldberg (Autor)
A rallying cry for privacy justice . . . chilling . . . take-no-prisoners and warmly gregarious' New York Times
'We need more warriors like Carrie' Tarana Burke, founder of the MeToo movement
'In the age of doxxing, revenge porn, and misogynist trolls, this book is required reading. . . . In telling these wrenching stories, Goldberg gives voice to the legions who have experienced unthinkable violence' Esquire, Best Books of Summer 2019
Nobody's Victim is an unflinching look at a hidden world most people don't know exists-one of stalking, blackmail, and sexual violence, online and off-and the incredible story of how one lawyer, determined to fight back, turned her own hell into a revolution.
Nobody's Victim invites readers to join Carrie Goldberg on the front lines of the war against sexual violence and privacy violations as her law firm sues the hell out of tech companies, schools, and sexual predators. Her battleground is the courtroom; her crusade is to transform clients from victims into warriors.
In gripping detail, Carrie shares the diabolical ways her clients are attacked and how she, through her unique combination of relentless advocacy, badass risk-taking, and unique client-empowerment, pursues justice for them all. There is the ex-boyfriend who made fake bomb threats in a client's name, causing a national panic; the girl who was sexually assaulted on school grounds and then suspended when she reported the attack; and the guy who used a dating app to send more than 1,200 men to his ex's home and office for sex. Carrie also shares her own shattering story about why she began her work and became the lawyer she needed.
Riveting and essential, Nobody's Victim is a bold and timely analysis of victim protection in the era of the Internet. This book is an urgent warning of a coming crisis, a predictor of imminent danger, and a weapon to take back control and protect ourselves-both online and off. *Perfect for fans of She Said by Jodi Kantor and Megan Twohey, The Whisper Network by Chandler Baker and The Good Fight*.
Click: A Story of Cyberbullying/Alexandra Philips (Autor)
Click is the heroic story of a young girl who was terrorized by schoolmates with merciless online harassment and her brave effort to overcome her tormentors. Her powerful, compelling story is told in brilliant graphic novel form. Lexi’s story of cyberbullying is a shocking depiction of young teenager’s torment in the newfound world of online harassment. Lexi, from Northridge, California, is ganged up on by a few girls over a misunderstanding on the schoolyard. The incident escalates on social media, local chat boards, and gossip sites. Forced to change schools, Lexi gets her karmic revenge when she returns to her old school for a Winter Formal. In a gesture of pure bravery, Lexi turns the tables on the “clique” by landing the boy at the dance and her picture in the yearbook.
Bullying and Harassment in the Workplace: Theory, Research and Practice / Ståle Valvatne Einarsen (Herausgeber), Helge Hoel (Herausgeber), Dieter Zapf (Herausgeber), Cary L. Cooper (Herausgeber)
Building on the success of two earlier best-selling editions from 2003 and 2011, this benchmark text and highly cited reference work now appears in its third edition. This book is a research-based resource on key aspects of workplace bullying and its remediation, which:
Covers the nature and complexities of bullying and harassment in the workplace
Presents the evidence on its prevalence, risk groups, antecedents and outcomes
Examines cyberbullying and harassment in the digital world
Describes the roles of bystanders and the coping possibilities of victims
Discusses prevention, intervention, treatment and the management of specific cases
Explains legal perspectives, the role of HR and of internal policies
Edited by leading experts in the field and presenting contributions from subject experts, it provides state-of-the-art reviews of the main themes in the field, as well as practical remedies and solutions at individual, organizational and societal levels, providing a much-needed update and expansion of the original work, as the research and literature on this problem with its manifold detrimental effects has expanded radically over the last decade. This book should be of interest to all scholars in the field of organizational behavior and social processes at work. In particular, the book is a much-needed tool for bachelor, master and PhD students, new and experienced researchers in the field, advanced practitioners and policy makers, including labor inspectors, union representatives, HR-personnel, lawyers, management consultants, and counsellors in private practice, family physicians and occupational health practitioners, to name a few.
Speak/Laurie Halse Anderson (Autor)
The first ten lies they tell you in high school.
"Speak up for yourself--we want to know what you have to say." From the first moment of her freshman year at Merryweather High, Melinda knows this is a big fat lie, part of the nonsense of high school. She is friendless, outcast, because she busted an end-of-summer party by calling the cops, so now nobody will talk to her, let alone listen to her. As time passes, she becomes increasingly isolated and practically stops talking altogether. Only her art class offers any solace, and it is through her work on an art project that she is finally able to face what really happened at that terrible party: she was raped by an upperclassman, a guy who still attends Merryweather and is still a threat to her. Her healing process has just begun when she has another violent encounter with him. But this time Melinda fights back, refuses to be silent, and thereby achieves a measure of vindication. In Laurie Halse Anderson's powerful novel, an utterly believable heroine with a bitterly ironic voice delivers a blow to the hypocritical world of high school. She speaks for many a disenfranchised teenager while demonstrating the importance of speaking up for oneself.
Speak was a 1999 National Book Award Finalist for Young People's Literature.
Without Conscience: The Disturbing World of the Psychopaths Among Us/ Ph.D. Hare, Robert D. (Autor)
Most people are both repelled and intrigued by the images of cold-blooded, conscienceless murderers that increasingly populate our movies, television programs, and newspaper headlines. With their flagrant criminal violation of society's rules, serial killers like Ted Bundy and John Wayne Gacy are among the most dramatic examples of the psychopath. Individuals with this personality disorder are fully aware of the consequences of their actions and know the difference between right and wrong, yet they are terrifyingly self-centered, remorseless, and unable to care about the feelings of others. Perhaps most frightening, they often seem completely normal to unsuspecting targets--and they do not always ply their trade by killing. Presenting a compelling portrait of these dangerous men and women based on 25 years of distinguished scientific research, Dr. Robert D. Hare vividly describes a world of con artists, hustlers, rapists, and other predators who charm, lie, and manipulate their way through life. Are psychopaths mad, or simply bad? How can they be recognized? And how can we protect ourselves? This book provides solid information and surprising insights for anyone seeking to understand this devastating condition.
The Sociopath Next Door/ Martha Stout Ph.D. (Autor)
Who is the devil you know?
Is it your lying, cheating ex-husband?
Your sadistic high school gym teacher?
Your boss who loves to humiliate people in meetings?
The colleague who stole your idea and passed it off as her own?
In the pages of The Sociopath Next Door, you will realize that your ex was not just misunderstood. He’s a sociopath. And your boss, teacher, and colleague? They may be sociopaths too.
We are accustomed to think of sociopaths as violent criminals, but in The Sociopath Next Door, Harvard psychologist Martha Stout reveals that a shocking 4 percent of ordinary people—one in twenty-five—has an often undetected mental disorder, the chief symptom of which is that that person possesses no conscience. He or she has no ability whatsoever to feel shame, guilt, or remorse. One in twenty-five everyday Americans, therefore, is secretly a sociopath. They could be your colleague, your neighbor, even family. And they can do literally anything at all and feel absolutely no guilt.
How do we recognize the remorseless? One of their chief characteristics is a kind of glow or charisma that makes sociopaths more charming or interesting than the other people around them. They’re more spontaneous, more intense, more complex, or even sexier than everyone else, making them tricky to identify and leaving us easily seduced. Fundamentally, sociopaths are different because they cannot love. Sociopaths learn early on to show sham emotion, but underneath they are indifferent to others’ suffering. They live to dominate and thrill to win.
The fact is, we all almost certainly know at least one or more sociopaths already. Part of the urgency in reading The Sociopath Next Door is the moment when we suddenly recognize that someone we know—someone we worked for, or were involved with, or voted for—is a sociopath. But what do we do with that knowledge? To arm us against the sociopath, Dr. Stout teaches us to question authority, suspect flattery, and beware the pity play. Above all, she writes, when a sociopath is beckoning, do not join the game.
It is the ruthless versus the rest of us, and The Sociopath Next Door will show you how to recognize and defeat the devil you know.
Thanks for adding your voice.
Thanks for adding your voice.