Make Max the Chief-Operator of the Globe!
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For too long the Earth has been ruled by wealth and greed, and it's time to put a STOP to it! If this petition is signed by YOU and your peers, tyranny and brutal authoritarian dictatorship will rule with absolute power once again (picture Soviet Russia but worse)! Upon taking control, it will be my duty to persecute all that disagree with me and my $wag (no room for h8erz). Now, you may be thinking - does this unnamed chap have the appropriate traits to the rule the world? That's a good question, but let's move on. Vote for me (it'll probably be the last slice of democracy you'll ever see, so make it count!) and you won't regret it!
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