Petition Closed

Block JJ Abrams' access to planetary WMDs

This petition had 2 supporters

JJ Abrams, the man in charge of the new Star Trek and Star Wars 7 (The Force Awakens) movies, seems to have developed a taste for killing billions of fictional people, even as audiences shrug it off as "meh, just a movie".

Friends, an extrapolation of the pattern in recent movies reveals a disturbing fact: Abrams' lust for blowing up planets is growing exponentially. At this rate of growth, JJ Abrams will destroy 625 planets in his 9th sy-fy movie - that's 5 planets for each minute of the film!

Abrams must be stopped. Even if you can accept universes full of crazy coincidences, plot holes, canon contradictions, and epic-fail parenting skills from our favorite characters, because "come on, it was a good flick! Lighten up!", you still have to admit that there are billions - and perhaps trillions - of fictional people who will die if we don't stop JJ Abrams from getting more Planetary Weapons of Mass Destruction.

Perhaps even worse is the real impact on the world's sense of morality, as our children are exposed to planetary genocide, see their parents shrug it off, and learn that blowing up planets is "no big deal" in the 21st century.

Finally, folks like Kim Jong Il who may someday actually figure out how to blow up our planet, may be inspired to follow in the footsteps of film stars like Star Wars VII's new Darth Vader guy. So perhaps if we can save a fictional planet or 25, we may inadvertently save our own. Please, sign this petition to put pressure on Hollywood to take away Abrams' planetary WMDs.

Today: David is counting on you

David Piepgrass needs your help with “The Walt Disney Company: Block JJ Abrams' access to planetary WMDs”. Join David and 1 supporter today.