I’d like an apology please

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I will preface this story by saying that every detail is completely true apart from one lie.

Me and my friend CK (Cate wants her identity hidden) were asked the leave the roof of the National Theatre because we were drinking on their property. This contravenes every known civil liberty for which our founding fathers fought King George.  

We’d like the National Theatre to please apologise please. It hurt our feelings. We were having a lovely time doing Mondays Guardian cryptic crossword (CK is still doing this crossword now instead of helping me draft the petition). We were doing Mondays because the nearby newsagents didn’t have any from today. We paid full price for a 6 day old newspaper, which demonstrates our extreme business acumen so don’t mess with us. Cate then punched a lion square in the face so don’t mess with us.

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