Speaker Pelosi, Make Mortal Kombat II Real

Speaker Pelosi, Make Mortal Kombat II Real

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Tenry Alonzo started this petition to The Honorable 52nd Speaker of the United States House of Representatives

Speaker Pelosi,

Congress is deadlocked. The Trump administration stands on the brink. The ice caps are melting. Now is the time to make Mortal Kombat II real.

The punches, the kicks, the brutal fatalities . . . Mortal Kombat II stormed into arcades in the hot, sexy summer of '93 with graphics so life-like you could practically feel the action. And now, over a quarter century later, we can fulfill that dream. We have the opportunity to make Mortal Kombat II real.

Merriam-Webster defines "mortal" as "subject to death." To the Honorable Speaker, what could possibly describe our precarious condition in 2019 more than this? Well, I'll tell you, Madame Speaker: adding the word "kombat" to that one-word description. And then the roman numeral II. And then making it real.

The gangs all here, Mrs. Speaker, with the exception of Kano and Sonya, who make non-playable appearances in Shao Kahn's level. So why not make them real? From the half-man, half-reptile Reptile to the voluptuous royal assassin Kitana?

Picture it now: all of the limb-ripping, blood-splattering action that we, as Americans, deserve. Honorable Madame Speaker Pelosi, the real question is . . . can you afford NOT to make Mortal Kombat II real?

The clock is ticking, Most Glorious Honorable Madame Speaker of the 52nd House of Representatives. And I hope you'll answer the call.

Yours in Christ,

Tenry Alonzo

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