Stop Butchering the Plural of "Octopus"!
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The world is sliding at an ever-increasing pace towards wallowing in a cesspit of ignorance and undereducated malaise. Nowhere is this better seen than in the outrageous faux-intellectual pluralisation of "octopus" as "octopi". As anyone with even a limited understanding of basic ancient Greek will know, "octopus" is hellenic, rather than Latin, in origin; therefore the true plural is "octopodes" (prn. "ok-'top-oh-dees"). We, of the Royal Society for the Compassionate Euthanasia of Ignorance and the Ignorant, urge our government to join with us in reversing this great butchery of our mother tongue by legislating for a programme of education beginning in primary school, to be enforced by a campaign of fear and harsh physical punishment, till all the world acknowledges that we are right and they are wrong. Also, we quite like the Oxford comma.
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