Make Hell Great again - ban fire from hell!

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For too long the cauldron of hell has been engulfed in traditional flames from the depths of this earth. We need to stop this madness before it's too late. There are 3 undeniable reasons why this needs to stop NOW:-

1. The flames of hell are highly carbon intensive. Switching to efficient electric heaters will help reduce emissions. 

2. For humane reasons. OK, so most people in hell are very bad people, but an eternity of flames is too much.  Making them watch Top Gear ad infinitum with an ambient temperature of 75 degrees is plenty enough torture 

3. Branding. With the Catholic Church in disarray, the devil and hell need to rebrand to take advantage and get more people making life choices to "go south" 

I implore you to sign this petition to send a message to Satan. 



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