Why the sculpture formally known as Cloud Gate should be renamed "The Cashew"

Contention I: Cloud Gate is already dominated by it's nickname "The Bean"

This satisfyingly shiny and smooth sculpture is known in pop culture as "The Bean." While Cloud Gate is supposed to reference the way in which 80 percent of the structure's surface reflects the sky, Cloud Gate is still a stupid name. Not only is it pretentious (the kind of pretentious that fails to be endearing), it also fails to make sense when the sky is not cloudy. This piece of art deserves a more fitting name that is more fun and more representative of all its glory.

Contention II: Cloud Gate is more anatomically similar to a cashew than a bean

If I could insert pictures of cashews and beans and Cloud Gate to help you visualize my argument, I would. Unfortunately, I cannot figure out how to do that.

For one, "The Bean" is entirely too vague. There are over 400 different types or varieties of dry beans in the world. "Bean" evokes a variety of connotations and mental images, many of which do not reflect the shape of Cloud Gate. "Cashew," however, is much more specific with only 33 different nut grades and a distinct mental image. Furthermore, the inner arch of Cloud Gate is much more similar to that of a cashew than that of a kidney bean, great northern bean, or cannellini bean (three of the most common beans).

It is for these aforementioned reasons and more that I urge you to join me in this movement. Long live The Cashew.