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Petitioning teddy
This petition will be delivered to:
teddy

buy a blender for fruit smoothies in the office

2
Supporters

Dear Teddy,

On behalf of ***, I am petitioning for a blender and regular fruit and vegetables in the office of ***. Acquiring this affordable, commonplace kitchen appliance will not only increase productivity in the workplace, but it will help your employees to bond while fostering an attractive, healthy work environment.


The US Center for Disease Control states that better workplace nutrition has measurable benefits for workers and employees alike. Well-fed employees are engaged and empowered to work harder than ill-fed workers, with the benefit of reduced health care costs for the employer. As health improves, sick leave is drastically reduced. Good health is good business, and nutrition is directly linked to cognition. Bad workplace nutrition, according to the National Center for Biotechnology Information, is strongly linked to emotional, physical, and cognitive deficits. Apart from being tired and hungry, under- or poorly-fed employees may be irritable and frustrated, which can easily lead to difficulties with concentrating and poor decision making. Furthermore, as a group, physicians state that "inadequate workplace nutrition has significant negative impact on their [own] personal wellness and professional performance (PubMed Online)." To abate the drearies and prevent inexplicable leaves of absence, it is of the utmost importance that we acquire a blender or smoothie mixer as soon as possible.


Fruit and vegetables have myriad proven health benefits for humans; the stuff has been researched ad nauseum with results plastered all over the internet (including government-affiliated websites), and I will abstain from redundant extrapolations of the obvious health benefits of a blender in the office.


The cost of a blender pales in comparison to the benefits it allots to employees and employers each and every day. There are many reasonably priced blender/smoothie-mixer options available online (with free shipping on Amazon), and there is a man across the street from our office who vends inexpensive, fresh fruit during normal business hours, with whom we may be able to purchase discounted fruit in bulk. It would be my personal pleasure to negotiate fruit sales with the man. Or, if you'd like, we can attain a weekly allottment of fruit from wholesale food distributors like Costco or Sam's Club, the pickup and transport of which I also proudly volunteer.


A typical fruit smoothie from Whole Foods or any "frozen fast food" store easily costs $4-10. (I personally worked for a company that sold $10 smoothies, before tax. They went out of business very quickly.) With a fruit and vegetable budget of just $100/week for the entire office, we can make dozens of smoothies that will cost approximately a dollar or less, per serving, with no added labor fees. The price of all this is still lower than a weekly meal for the entire staff, which many businesses incorporate into their annual budgets without much afterthought. Even foundering businesses take time and money to feed their employees; a company like *** would bear little to no financial burden as a result of this proposed weekly smoothie arrangement.


In short, the US Government insists that you buy us a blender. Otherwise, we will continue to work above and beyond what is expected, but we'll be slightly less enthused about coming to work than if we had a functional blender, with fruit and veggies to put into that blender and make Awesome happen for *** and ourselves.


Letter to
teddy
I just signed the following petition addressed to: teddy.

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On behalf of ***, I am petitioning for a blender and regular fruit and vegetables in the office of ***. Acquiring this affordable, commonplace kitchen appliance will not only increase productivity in the workplace, but it will help your employees to bond while fostering an attractive, healthy work environment.

The US Center for Disease Control states that better workplace nutrition has measurable benefits for workers and employees alike. Well-fed employees are engaged and empowered to work harder than ill-fed workers, with the benefit of reduced health care costs for the employer. As health improves, sick leave is drastically reduced. Good health is good business, and nutrition is directly linked to cognition. Bad workplace nutrition, according to the National Center for Biotechnology Information, is strongly linked to emotional, physical, and cognitive deficits. Apart from being tired and hungry, under- or poorly-fed employees may be irritable and frustrated, which can easily lead to difficulties with concentrating and poor decision making. Furthermore, as a group, physicians state that "inadequate workplace nutrition has significant negative impact on their [own] personal wellness and professional performance (PubMed Online)." To abate the drearies and prevent inexplicable leaves of absence, it is of the utmost importance that we acquire a blender or smoothie mixer as soon as possible.

Fruit and vegetables have myriad proven health benefits for humans; the stuff has been researched ad nauseum with results plastered all over the internet (including government-affiliated websites), and I will abstain from redundant extrapolations of the obvious health benefits of a blender in the office.

The cost of a blender pales in comparison to the benefits it allots to employees and employers each and every day. There are many reasonably priced blender/smoothie-mixer options available online (with free shipping on Amazon), and there is a man across the street from our office who vends inexpensive, fresh fruit during normal business hours, with whom we may be able to purchase discounted fruit in bulk. It would be my personal pleasure to negotiate fruit sales with the man. Or, if you'd like, we can attain a weekly allottment of fruit from wholesale food distributors like Costco or Sam's Club, the pickup and transport of which I also proudly volunteer.

A typical fruit smoothie from Whole Foods or any "frozen fast food" store easily costs $4-10. (I personally worked for a company that sold $10 smoothies, before tax. They went out of business very quickly.) With a fruit and vegetable budget of just $100/week for the entire office, we can make dozens of smoothies that will cost approximately a dollar or less, per serving, with no added labor fees. The price of all this is still lower than a weekly meal for the entire staff, which many businesses incorporate into their annual budgets without much afterthought. Even foundering businesses take time and money to feed their employees; a company like *** would bear little to no financial burden as a result of this proposed weekly smoothie arrangement.

In short, the US Government insists that you buy us a blender. Otherwise, we will continue to work above and beyond what is expected, but we'll be slightly less enthused about coming to work than if we had a functional blender, with fruit and veggies to put into that blender and make Awesome happen for *** and ourselves.
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Sincerely,