Sharknado and Sharknado 2: The Second One, are the cinematic masterpieces America needs. In a time plagued by war, terror, economic recession, and congressional gridlock, the American people need somewhere to turn. Thanks to the work of SyFy, they have been able to turn to Sharknado.

They turn here for heroes, for adventures, for friends. They turn here for an escape from the troubles of life. But perhaps most of all, they turn here for sharks. Terrifying, bloody, angry sharks. This tale, like the spirit of the American people, must carry on.

It is for this reason that we, the people, ask that you film Sharknado 3: Fin-Dependence Day, and that you film it in our nation's capital, Washington, DC.

DC is the city on the hill, the bastion of freedom, and the home of monuments to our nation's great leaders such as George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, Theodore Roosevelt, Bryce Harper, and Ben Ali. DC is a city filled with history, majesty, and democracy. Most importantly, DC is a city that deserves to be pounded relentlessly by an inexplicable tornado filled with sharks.

Ask not what your country can do for you, but ask yourself what you can do to make sharks pummel our nation’s capital.

Four score and seven years ago, our nation rose together to overcome the greatest Sharknado known to man.

I have a dream that one day, children of all colors will live in fear of a third Sharknado.

We, the people, ask you to help us in our pursuit of life, liberty, and Sharknado.

We ask you to please film Sharknado 3: Fin-Dependence Day in Washington, DC.