One of the male Maths Teachers used to press his thighs up against my half of the desk, so that there was no room between him & the desk. His genitalia would be directly across from my head. I was 13/14 years old (2018). He used to rock his genitalia into my face for minutes at a time while he was speaking to the class, and while I was trying to work. He always did it on my half on the desk, NEVER in the middle, nor on the other persons half.. it was always on my side. I remember that sometimes his genitalia would be sat on my folder, and I needed to get work out of it. So I would have to either hope that he’d eventually move, or I’d have to reach my hand out and grab my folder from underneath his privates just so I could get on with my work. It happened everyday of the week that I’d see him and it lasted for a maximum of 2 months. It made me very uncomfortable as a child, and I always had the urge to push him away from me. He’s a middle aged man thrusting his genitalia into a child’s face! If that isn’t weird or strange to you then I don’t know what to say. However, he knew that because I was the quiet kid I wouldn’t say anything to him. Every time I used to leave his lessons I felt enormous guilt as if I had done something to make him target me. (Obviously I hadn’t). The person who the teacher sat me next to even used to talk about it with their friend before he came into lesson. The teacher finally stopped after 2 MONTHS when he realised from the first parents evening I had with him that I was related to an older student of his. But then he started subtly flirting with me outside of lessons. Like very obviously copying my actions, complimenting my hair and accessories, never minded me being in his personal space, and he always had a cheshire cat grin, and very piercing eyes. On the last parents evening with him he was very heavily leaning over the table at me, even tho my mum was there, and he barely made eye contact with my her. Nor did he point at the sheet of paper with my progress on it, but he rather stared into my soul for 10 minutes, while grinning at me.

All off this combined has made me very conflicted and upset, as he wasn’t just a teacher, but someone who seemed to care about me in one of the darkest years of my life. Obviously it was all fake just because he wanted to have fun. Which due to the trauma bond he created hurts more than words could ever depict. All I’ve wanted from this entire situation is an apology from him. However, the school has NOT ONCE talked to me about it, or arranged a meeting etc. All they have done is send me a letter withdrawing my 6th form place. When they did this 95% of the colleges/ 6th forms in my surrounding area had closed their applications as it was in the end of May, so I had no where to go at the time. I felt like my future was over, and it made me relapse into depression, as I was diagnosed in 2020. I was ready to give up on everything. It’s October now and I’ve only just been referred to therapy through Social Services. Whom are proceeding with a treatment plan for how much trauma I hold over this scenario. I hope for this entire thing to be over, I want to feel okay again, but most of all I WANT ANSWERS. I dread to even think that I will NEVER forget what happened every day inside and outside the his lessons.

THE ONLY THING I have asked for is an apology. A simple, “I am sorry for what I did, and how I made you feel”.

So why did I get kicked out?

I am petitioning to fight for an apology, one that I am entitled to after how much trauma and emotional suffering this has caused me since I first talked about it in May 2021. I would like the teacher to take accountability and apologise for his actions towards me. I do not care too much about the school apologising to me, but if they ever did it would still be much much appreciated.

~ SJK, 17 years old.