Stop any citizen of Philadelphia on the street and ask them what makes their city so great, and they will either rattle off a list of reasons (e.g. Water Ice, Center Lane Parking, Wawa, Will Smith, etc.) or tell you to go...well, you know. In either case, it took the 2020 United States Presidential Election for the world to recognize the central role our city, grimy as it may be, plays in maintaining world order. Some may still not like us. Frankly, we don't care. We don't like yous either.

In the early hours of Friday, November 6, following a campaign season and election that seemed to last an eternity even after taking into account the firmly established effects of the space-time continuum triggered by the COVID-19 pandemic, mail-in ballots cast by the good citizens of Philadelphia and its surrounding suburbs helped candidate Joseph R. Biden, Jr. gain an edge in Pennsylvania, ultimately securing his election win on Saturday, November 7.

“I’m proud to say that Philly showed up,” Mayor Jim Kenney said, in response to the news. Jim - We have had our differences in the past, but you absolutely nailed it. Although this city deserves (literally) all the recognition in the world for this contribution to democracy - some of our citizens waited for hours in agony to cast their ballots - we are reasonable enough (believe it or not) to understand the logistical challenges of inviting all 1,591,800 of us to the 2021 United States Presidential Inauguration in Washington D.C.

To that end, we, the citizens of Philadelphia, kindly request that an invitation be extended to our googly-eyed hometown hero, Gritty. Though it remains unclear how much Gritty actually understands about our political system, there should be no doubt that Gritty mobilized this city to do what it does best. To stand up in the face of doubt, troll and dance around the haters, and deliver yet another Philly Special. We have done it before and we will do it again. Gritty has never asked for anything in return, perhaps because he doesn't care about it or yous, but we want this for him. He has earned it.

Mr. President-Elect, and Mrs. Vice President Elect - I personally have high hopes for all that you will achieve in the four years to come. Let's start this off on the right foot. Gritty deserves a seat at the United States Presidential Inauguration on Wednesday, January 20. Thank you.

Sincerely,
Philadelphia