Are you a loyal 12? Do you care about player safety? Is eyeball health important to you? Do you strive to stamp out evil wherever it is found?
Then it's time to join us and save our beloved Seattle Seahawks from the cursed Action Green Uniforms our boys are set to wear against the Vikings Monday night.
Fact: On average everytime the Hawks wear these heinous unis we lose a future Hall of Fame player... forever. Who's next? Russ? Bobby? Doug? Seabass? Let's stop the carnage now.
Fact: Action Green unis are the second leading cause of eyeball bleeds only behind... Ebola. Action Green unis are as bad for your eyes as Ebola. You know that burning sensation you feel when you look at them? Thats your eyes preparing to gush blood. Keep your peepers healthy and sign now.
Fact: In the offseason leading into the 2017 season rival NFC West execs John Lynch, Les Snead, and Steve Keim had a secret meeting with a voodoo witch doctor in New Orleans. In this seance they dressed voodoo dolls in mini Action Green jerseys and cursed them to eternal banishment from the Hawks. They started with numbers 31, then 25... then the video becomes too grainy to identify the next cursed player. Stand against this unchecked evil!
By signing below you support the destruction of these cursed uniforms and save our season, your eyes and our Hawks.