Do not allow “free speech” to be disguised as hate speech

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Anita Kanitz
May 18, 2020
The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it.

Albert Einstein

Who wants a peaceful world with justice, must work for a peaceful world with justice.

My son was cruel bullied, terrorized, beaten and slandered at school. I was bullied at the workplace in an heinous kind and also stalked privately and on the Internet. I was private a victim of gang stalking, online harrassment, cyber bullying, identy theft, online slandering, hacking attacks, death and rape threats, telephone terror and damages of property.

No one helped us, no one has done anything. All administrative receiver points have failed. In the case of my son teachers, school management, administrative terms, parents' council, lawyers, legal, in my case superiors, personnel office, works and stalking counseling centers.

This is a social indictment and has to change!
When someone you know is bullied, terrorized, harassed, physically and mentally abused or stalked, whether at school, at university, college, at work, in the family or in the neighborhood, in cliques, on social networks, then support them if they really want to help and do not believe the lies and intrigues that spread psychopathic bullies. If you look away or even claim that the victims are to blame, then you too will become the perpetrators.
If you think bullies and stalkers know pity, you're wrong. These people are sociopaths and psychopaths who will control, master, manipulate and deceive everything and will not stop until their victims are physically, mentally, socially, schoolish and professionally destroyed. In principle, everyone has a chance to become a victim.

The fact that victims of bullying are "bad" and "inferior" is a myth that perpetrators like to spread. On the contrary, it is not uncommon for victims to stand out due to special achievements, celebrities, creativity etc.
There are various motives for bullying. This is important to know if you want to initiate countermeasures as a victim or if you want to prevent acts of bullying as early as possible. In this sense, perpetrators can be roughly divided into a typology:

1. Power bullies
They are often superiors or people who want to gain power at the victim's expense.

Booting out, assigning under-demanding activities, constant, objective criticism, devaluing the victim's performance, not taking note of the performance, etc.
Group dynamic processes are sometimes used: victims are transferred in a targeted manner, e.g. in the hope that they will be "finished" by the new colleagues. They are assigned a scapegoat function. Tribunals are staged, on which the victim is hacked (by the "mob").
Power bullies are often clever and subtle. They have the appropriate background knowledge, connections and often a certain unscrupulousness.

2. Envy bullies
The victim is attacked because it has characteristics that you would like to have yourself: title, success, prominence, popularity, better specialist knowledge, etc.

Often, the victim's person is also devalued, assassination.

3. Anxiety bullies
The victim reminds the perpetrators of their own shortcomings and threatens their self-esteem. They are afraid of changes. Behavior deviating from previous habits or behaviors deviating from their expectations are criticized without questioning.
Scared bullies are often victims of power bullies who deliberately stir up fear. They are mobilized against scapegoats by assassination and targeted intrigue.

See under 1 and 2. Since fear bullies are often severely emotionally impaired, they see the connections very one-sided. The victim is seen negatively, no matter how it behaves. Inferior personality traits are often assumed. Clarifying discussions are avoided because of the fear of losing out in a factual discussion, which in turn could damage self-esteem. ("I don't want to talk to you about that now!", "There's no point in discussing with you!".)
Scared bullies often feel themselves victims, misunderstood, left alone. They often experience their behavior in response to the victim's alleged wrongdoing.

4. Lust bullies
They just enjoy bullying, intriguing and creating excitement. They are also often power bullies. From a psychiatric perspective, they often show an affinity for emotionally cold psychopaths.

The motifs of other types of bullies, especially fear bullies, are cleverly used. Spreading vague rumors and allegations is typical. They too tend to stage tribunals where the victim is supposed to be killed by colleagues.

5. Chicken yard bully
Groups tend to have pecking orders. This is no different with chickens than with humans.

Direct attack, insult, humiliate. It is made no secret of bullying others.

6. Herd bullies
As a social being, people want to belong to a group, to be recognized and loved there. In the group you feel safe and strong. Herd bullies alone are often very insecure, fearful and therefore avoid discussion with the victim.
To be part of it, you more or less unconsciously join a group norm. This also applies to the selection of victims of bullying. Group pressure can lead to astonishing distortions of perception for outsiders, through which the victim is seen in a bad light.
Herd bullies are rather independent and self-critical. They are mostly victims of group dynamics,of leaders and seducers. Through transfers and changes in the group system, they can become peaceful and cooperative.

7. The "noble" bullies
This feels "noble", "helpful" and "good". He or she is committed to the good side, while others - so his view - violate the good. Often they are helpers who try to compensate for their lack of expertise with increased commitment. By dividing into good and evil, one can subjectively increase one's own value.

Your own person or group is upgraded, the apparent or actual performance is emphasized. At the same time, attention is drawn to the alleged inadequacies of the "evil". There is a tendency to complain about these to superiors. Since they are "good", they are depriving themselves of the right to devalue and attack anyone who violates their convictions, who have other opinions or approaches. The victim's behavior is not questioned, but criticized negatively. Other opinions are considered hostility and will be dealt with accordingly

("I'm a pacifist - I'll kill everyone who's not!").
How do you recognize bullies?

For the most part, this already emerges from the typology.

Regarding external behavior, the following behaviors can be found in many cases regardless of type:

1. The "friendly" bullies
Chronic bullies are often charming and friendly. You don't trust them to be mean.

2. The "correct" bullies
The behavior is formal, quite polite.

3. The emotion technician
Many bullies play skilfully on the keyboard of emotions. Here, e.g. gives the impression that the victim is evil, the perpetrator and others are good (division). In many cases, it is suspected that those who are increasingly prone to use such techniques may have a personality disorder (Boredline syndrome)

Signal antipathy
Make the victim believe that it is unpopular everywhere.
Signal deep trust towards a third party and at the same time emphasize distrust towards the victim.
Well-staged outbursts of emotion - crying, screaming, running out, etc.
Theatrically emotionally colored reviews, e.g. with small actual or perceived errors. Conversely, with the intention of hitting the victim, mediocre achievements of others are praised exuberantly.

4. The maddener
There are two approaches here:
a) You can do what you want, it is definitely wrong. Since the perpetrator wants to harass the victim, he is not interested in his objectively good performance - on the contrary.
b) The offender is unpredictable. Today he harasses the victim, stages dramatic outbursts of emotion. The victim is kinked. The next day he is friendly, apparently understanding. The victim breathes a sigh of relief and may attribute his problems with the perpetrator to his own hypersensitivity.

5. The open bully
He makes no secret of his intentions. Sometimes they even announce themselves as perpetrators: "I am here to shoot K.!".
They often feel safe because they feel supported and right. They are often poultry and herd bullies. But they also like to be pushed forward by more intelligent or skillful bullies (power bullies, lust bullies). Since open aggressors are most likely to get into the line of fire, the masterminds can withdraw in time in an emergency.

6. The "affected" bullies
He really believes that the victim is evil. They can be recognized by the fact that they show fears and prejudices towards the victim the first time they meet. They are pre-informed about the allegedly bad characteristics of the victim ("Be careful ....," You will still see ....! "). Even with good will to behave objectively and fairly, they will adapting to group norms soon through group pressure and selective perceptions, which in turn is used as "evidence" of the victim's malice.

Basic rules for victims

1. Critical self-assessment but no self-doubt
Everyone can become a victim of bullying, depending on the structural and social-psychological conditions of a company. In itself, this is no reason to doubt yourself. That shouldn't prevent you from questioning yourself critically. Constructive and factual criticism should be taken seriously.
But mostly avoid such bullies: They tend to vague, undifferentiated allegations, general attacks against the personality and unreflected reviews, often put forward emotionally, insultingly or whispered behind the back.
Such attacks are irrelevant and say more about the perpetrator than about the victim.

2. Stay cool, keep calm
As a rule, it is not recommended to take countermeasures when excited. Then you behave as the perpetrators expect, you become manipulable and lose track. Possibly. is a longer pause for thought, definitely indicated for months, when you notice that emotions impair the mind.
Peace and serenity are recommended.

3. No wrap around
If you don't have a lot of self-confidence, you are often affected when you see yourself as a victim of bullying attacks. In his frustration, one tends to shove all colleagues, all superiors and the whole company together.
But this is usually a wrong assessment. Around envelopes hit many innocent people and maybe even friends. You already have a number of new opponents. The target of the bullies has been reached.
This is one of the reasons why: take breaks in your thinking, observe closely, perceive in a differentiated way.

4. Analyze the situation
This differentiated observation will quickly show interesting results in larger companies. The bullies have e.g. enemies themselves, perhaps because they have also bullied others. Bullies often feel very safe in the confines of their co-bullies. Therefore, they often assess the situation uncritically, do not think, while the victim can develop further and calmly plan countermeasures.

5. Expect your own misjudgments
Own misjudgments of the connections can result acutely from emotional impairment.
But otherwise you can be wrong. Not everyone is immediately recognized as an enemy or friend. You may not know who maintains whom with whom. A lot of background information is also not known.
Attitudes, relationships, and behavior patterns can also change. A former ally may turn away under the influence of group pressure ("The enemy doesn't sleep"). Conversely, someone may become aware of the victim's activities and offer himself as an ally, possibly because he is a victim himself. Many perpetrators (e.g. "herd offenders") notice how they let themselves be carried away and find the strength to separate themselves from the crowd.

6. Seek help and allies
The increased public awareness of the problem increases the chances of finding understanding listeners and helpers. Friends, colleagues, other victims, superiors and personnel representatives can be helpful in the context of the company. As a rule, you will quickly notice that the bullies themselves have enemies (they often do not notice this in their delusion) with whom one can ally.
Outside of the company, there are professional helpers: supervisors, coaches, therapists, lawyers.

7. Acquire competence, act strategically
Crises are good motives for further development. This is the victim's chance and the disadvantage of the perpetrator, who usually sees no reason to do so.
Strategic conflict management helps to master problems in a targeted and sovereign manner.

books about bullying:

The Girls
by Amy Goldman Koss
Though published 16 years ago, Koss’s fast-reading and award-winning novel offers such a realistic and well-plotted portrayal of middle-school bullying that readers won’t think twice about the lack of cell phones, texting, or social media. Following Maya, a girl who’s “let in” to the best table at lunch, only to later find that the queen bee Candace has turned her friends against her — and no major event has caused it. Switching viewpoints among the girls in the clique, readers might cringe at the characters’ behavior, but they’ll also feel like they got the whole picture.

Please Stop Laughing at Me: One Woman’s Inspirational True Story
by Jodee Blanco
Blanco, who speaks across the country as “the voice of America’s bullied,” wrote this book — now featured as required reading in many schools — based on her own experience. She spent years dreading school, where her classmates savagely taunted her, called her names, even spit on her as she walked to class. Worse, her ostracism started because Blanco had defended some deaf students who were being picked on by hearing students. Her story is haunting and either relatable (and inspiring, given Blanco’s current success) or a means for teens to examine their own behavior.

Vicious: True Stories by Teens About Bullying
edited by Hope Vanderberg
Covering every form of bullying, from physical and verbal to relational and cyber, the victims’ stories in Vicious win points with teens for their compelling realness. Though some of the stories can be rough to read, the book is an excellent one for younger teens because it not only makes them aware early on of what bullying can look and feel like, but also provides messages about how to feel strong and comfortable in their own skin, a powerful shield against potential trauma.

Dear Bully: Seventy Authors Tell Their Stories
by Megan Kelley Hall and Carrie Jones

In this anthology, authors including Lauren Oliver, Ellen Hopkins, Carolyn Mackler, R.L. Stine, A.S. King, and Jon Scieszka relate their own experiences with bullying. The vignettes reveal some were victims, some were bystanders, and some even the bullies, and should stir empathy on all sides of the issue.

Mobbed!: What to Do When They Really Are Out to Get You byJanice Harper (Author)
Is everybody out to get you? Are you being bullied and shunned not just by one, but by many? You may not be paranoid, you just might be being mobbed. In Mobbed! What to Do When They Really Are Out to Get You, anthropologist Janice Harper, a regular contributor to Psychology Today and The Huffington Post, explores the group psychology behind collective aggression at work, school, the military, church or community. Unlike other anti-bully books that focus on "evil" people or "psychopath bosses," Harper shows how and why even good people will engage in inhumane behaviors in group settings—and what targets of their aggression can do to protect themselves once it starts. From studies in animal behavior to showing how administrators communicate behind the scenes when they want to eliminate someone, Dr. Harper takes the reader on an exploration of the underbelly of human nature to show step-by-step what happens to the pack when a leader—whether an alpha wolf or a disgruntled boss—wants one of its own to be gone.

Written by an anthropologist with expertise in organizational cultures and warfare, whose approach to workplace aggression has been cited as “paradigm shifting,” “fascinating,” “insightful,” “refreshing,” “provocative,” and “a voice of sanity,” Mobbed! What to Do When They Really Are Out to Get You explains the primate behavior that humans engage in when interacting in groups and how to stop it, and protect yourself, at any stage.

Haters: Harassment, Abuse, and Violence Online by Bailey Poland (Author)
Cybersexism is rampant and can exact an astonishingly high cost. In some cases, the final result is suicide.

Bullying, stalking, and trolling are just the beginning. Extreme examples such as GamerGate get publicized, but otherwise the online abuse of women is largely underreported. Haters combines a history of online sexism with suggestions for solutions.

Using current events and the latest available research into cybersexism, Bailey Poland questions the motivations behind cybersexist activities and explores methods to reduce footprints of Internet misogyny, drawing parallels between online and offline abuse. By exploring the cases of Alyssa Funke, Rehtaeh Parsons, Audrie Pott, Zoe Quinn, Anita Sarkeesian, Brianna Wu, and others, and her personal experiences with sexism, Poland develops a compelling method of combating sexism online.

Nobody's Victim: Fighting Psychos, Stalkers, Pervs, and Trolls by Carrie Goldberg (Author)
Nobody's Victim is an unflinching look at a hidden world most people don’t know exists—one of stalking, blackmail, and sexual violence, online and off—and the incredible story of how one lawyer, determined to fight back, turned her own hell into a revolution.

“We are all a moment away from having our life overtaken by somebody hell-bent on our destruction.” That grim reality—gleaned from personal experience and twenty years of trauma work—is a fundamental principle of Carrie Goldberg’s cutting-edge victims’ rights law firm.

Riveting and an essential timely conversation-starter, Nobody's Victim invites readers to join Carrie on the front lines of the war against sexual violence and privacy violations as she fights for revenge porn and sextortion laws, uncovers major Title IX violations, and sues the hell out of tech companies, schools, and powerful sexual predators. Her battleground is the courtroom; her crusade is to transform clients from victims into warriors.

In gripping detail, Carrie shares the diabolical ways her clients are attacked and how she, through her unique combination of advocacy, badass relentlessness, risk-taking, and client-empowerment, pursues justice for them all. There are stories about a woman whose ex-boyfriend made fake bomb threats in her name and caused a national panic; a fifteen-year-old girl who was sexually assaulted on school grounds and then suspended when she reported the attack; and a man whose ex-boyfriend used a dating app to send more than 1,200 men to ex's home and work for sex. With breathtaking honesty, Carrie also shares her own shattering story about why she began her work and the uphill battle of building a business.

While her clients are a diverse group—from every gender, sexual orientation, age, class, race, religion, occupation, and background—the offenders are not. They are highly predictable. In this book, Carrie offers a taxonomy of the four types of offenders she encounters most often at her firm: assholes, psychos, pervs, and trolls. “If we recognize the patterns of these perpetrators,” she explains, “we know how to fight back.”

Deeply personal yet achingly universal, Nobody's Victim is a bold and much-needed analysis of victim protection in the era of the Internet. This book is an urgent warning of a coming crisis, a predictor of imminent danger, and a weapon to take back control and protect ourselves—both online and off.

Hate Crimes in Cyberspace by Danielle Keats Citron (Author)
Some see the Internet as a Wild West where those who venture online must be thick-skinned enough to endure verbal attacks in the name of free speech protection. Danielle Keats Citron rejects this view. Cyber-harassment is a matter of civil rights law, and legal precedents as well as social norms of decency and civility must be leveraged to stop it.

The Shield of Silence: How Power Perpetuates a Culture of Harassment and Bullying in the Workplace by Lauren Stiller Rikleen (Author)
The Shield of Silence compellingly argues that sexual harassment and other negative behaviors will not be stopped unless the condition that drives victims and bystanders into silence - the overriding fear that reporting misconduct will result in retaliation - is eliminated. Combining fascinating research, extensive interviews, and strategic recommendations for addressing workplace misconduct, it is a must-read for anyone interested in the ongoing conversation about what's acceptable, and what isn't, in the workplace.

This book combines fascinating research, extensive interviews, and strategic recommendations for addressing workplace misconduct. Its premise is that sexual harassment and other negative behaviors will not be stopped unless the condition that drives victims and bystanders into silence - the overriding fear that reporting misconduct will result in retaliation - is eliminated.

Bully, the Bullied, and the Not-So-Innocent Bystander by Barbara Coloroso (Author)
An international bestseller, Barbara Coloroso’s groundbreaking and trusted guide on bullying—including cyberbullying—arms parents and teachers with real solutions for a problem that affects almost all school age kids.

“An extremely helpful book that both parents and teachers can use to deal with bullying.”—Publishers Weekly

First published over a decade ago, The Bully, the Bullied and the Bystander quickly became the definitive guide to bullying prevention and intervention, providing real solutions for a problem that affects young people all over the world. Now, in this thoroughly updated and expanded book, Coloroso helps you recognize the characteristic triad of bullying: the bully who perpetrates the harm; the bullied, who is the target (and who may become a bully); and the not-so-innocent bystanders—peers or siblings who either watch, participate in the bullying or look away, and adults who see bullying as “teasing,” not tormenting, and as “boys will be boys” or as “ girl drama,” not the predatory aggression that it is. In this book you will learn:

What bullying is and what it isn’t
The four ways and three means of bullying
Technology resources and solutions to deal effectively with both online and offline bullying
Seven steps to hold accountable and reform someone who bullies
Four abilities that protect young people from succumbing to a bully
How young people can stand up, speak out, and take responsibility

Drawing on her decades of work with troubled youth and her wide experience with conflict resolution and restorative justice, Barbara Coloroso offers practical and compassionate solutions and gives parents, caregivers, educators and—most of all—young people the tools to break this cycle of violence.

Bullycide in America (Moms speak out about the bullying/suicide connection) by Brenda High (Author)
This is not a book about blame or guilt, although it may certainly spark that kind of discussion. This is not a book about getting even or setting the record straight, although it may do that as well. And, this is not a book for clinicians, although it will offer some scientific data and educational resources. This is a book of real stories about real kids. Kids who took their own lives because they thought it was their only way out of a hopeless situation. It is about the tragic choices they made in an effort to end the pain - when they believed there was no other solution. It is told by mothers who are willing to share their own personal pain as they watched their children suffer and struggle. It is about their own efforts to advocate for their children while they continue to deal with their own devastating loss and the aftermath of bullycide.

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Susan Arcadipane
2 years ago
We must learn to live together respect each other bring back more love not hate and fear into our lives. Only then will we have peace.

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Raheel Arshad
2 years ago
This is so irresponsible, degrading Parliamentary sovereignty. And Unethical behaviour towards Entire Islamic Believers.

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Jean Townsend
2 years ago
How did this band fly under the radar and into Australia?

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Mazen Chaarani
2 years ago
I’m singing because I hate him

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Sandra Barnes
2 years ago
THis Senator is speaking on what most Australians are thinking.. I applaud him for his honesty and his bravery in making this comment. Freedom of Speech for everyone.. If you can t handle the truth then fucking leave my great Country. THis will be just the beginning not the end. Islam is not welcome here . Islam is an evil cult and should not be here in a Western Country.. YOu can call me a bigot a racist which i am not..I love my great Country and because of my Governments miss management my great Australia is totally fucked....I am a 7 Generation Australian and I just wish Muslims will leave. THey have changed my way of life so much I hate it.. My beliefs dont matter anymore in MY Country just Islams. The only reason I signed this is because Australians need to wake up before it is too late and Islam has taken over..Not in my life time they are not..I will fight Islam in my country until the day i die . Thats the truth. If you dont like it bad luck..My views on what happened in Christchurch before you ask....Am ashamed this man was Australian and these Muslims did not deserve to die.. Nobody does for what they believe in..

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Abdul Sattar
2 years ago
Free speech should not be disguised as hate speech

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DIana Sabouni
2 years ago
I am signing because annaging is a rascit

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Murtaza Ali
2 years ago
Zaki is a talented boy as a student and a soccer player.

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Marilyn Wright
2 years ago
I stand with you against hate speech and those who have the platform to spread it.