Long time listener, first time petitioner here with a nasty little something that's been stuck in my craw. Internationally acclaimed pop-star Richard Album has got it all - the hair, the voice, and above all the moves. Lately the blogosphere has been buzzing, talking about how that cursed telecaster chained around his neck is impeding the show we all know, love and deserve. In plain language, this petition is to demonstrate that all the fans that would die for Richard are fiending for a dazzling performance, free from fancy finger-picking and gentle strumming.

Here are the facts as we know them

1. Richard Album is a charismatic superstar with moves that are unbeatable

2. Epstein did not kill himself

3. That guitar around his neck is anchoring Richard too close to the earth. A man with legs and talent like that deserves to be free. 

Please sign this petition now. Any questions or feedback can be sent to tonybigdickvictory@victoryrecords.com