I cannot tell you how many times I have heard of someone ignoring his or her restraining order. It seems so common that usually within 24hrs of the restraining order being issued, there is another instance of abuse. Many times restraining orders are not even issued because the person being abused knows this. They know that the cops are not going to wait outside and protect them. They know that if they have a restraining order and call the police, the police will probably arrive too late. They know that if they call the police, they are escalating the situation and there will be consequences.
The system is not set up to provide confidence in your safety. The system is not set up to make the community feel safe. For it to work, you need to feel safe just thinking about calling. You need to know that once you take that step, you will be protected.
Enough of pointing out a problem everyone is aware of, now it is time for the solution.
TV Cameras…even better a locally ran TV Show, public access could work but it would be nice to have funding for the security needed. Having the cameras around increases the probability of making good choices. That is not always going to be enough. Cannot have video live feed through public access or the web, this would make it easy to stalk them. The show will be created with the incidents because the audience wants conflict.
Rehabilitated violent offenders, people who have been around violence and are not afraid of it, trained how to act to all parties involved including the community. Since we have at least one police report, there is a good chance we already know how many people it will take to subdue the offender. If they needed 5 police officers, take into account the height weight ratio and ensure that there is at least two more than needed. Someone has to call the police while the offender is being restrained. We also know if the offender chooses to use weapons and which ones to be prepared for.
It is usually not difficult to get someone to run to the aid of abused women and or children. The problem is most of the time they make the situation worse and put them in harms way as well. She is doing everything right but he is doing everything wrong. They go back because they have no other place to go. They go back because it’s all they know. Her friends beat him up, so he beats her up worse. Someone brings a club, next time there is a knife or a gun. Then after all is said and done she goes back to him because she still loves him and he said he was sorry…again. We are manifesting the wrong destinies. A recent example in Espoo, Finland…
“As relatives tried to come to terms with their loss, investigators indicated they believed Shkupolli may have selected his targets after suspecting his former girlfriend of being romantically involved with a workmate.
In separate comments to Finnish media, Haapala said Shkupolli appeared to have deliberately sought out his victims in the mall, all of whom worked at the same supermarket where the former girlfriend worked.
"The injuries of the victims indicate the shooter wanted to shoot just them. There were no bullets shot in the direction of bystanders," he said in comments to the online edition of the Helsingin Sanomat newspaper.”
Once a restraining order is filed:
Carefully review of any and all police statements and restraining order.
Counseling for the person filing the restraining order. We must ensure they are aware of the danger they are actually in, what to do and what not to do. Hopefully teach the person they are worthwhile to seek to understand exactly what they want and how to achieve it.
Counseling for the person the restraining order is being filed against. History has shown us that any person a restraining order is filed against is probably emotionally unstable and capable horrific violent crimes. To decrease the probability of problems the restraining order should be given while in jail. The offender could then be given time to themselves to cool down. A counselor would supervise them and the counselor would then determine when it was safe to counsel, de-escalate the situation and let the healing begin. Unfortunately not all restraining orders are served in jail, I think they should be. I think they should be brought down to the police station and put into a holding cell to be told and then counseled. At minimum there should be a few armed police officers with the counselor. There is no waiting for this. We wait and the situation blows up out of control into a big violent mess. It is time we started being proactive on predictable and probable situations. Another great reason for the counselor is to assess the potential danger. I know that some people are calm and calculated but that is also why it is a qualified counselor to assess the situation and then address it as needed. The counselors will also review any and all video footage collected to determine the true mental state of the patient when they are being aggressive. Our objective must be to heal everyone involved.
Yoga a tricky way of teaching one to be pro-active not re-active just by breathing.
Drug & Alcohol Rehabilitation when needed
Proactive vs. reactive, far too many people seem to be reactive not proactive in just about every aspect of life.
Judo, non-lethal restraints, this will also include appropriate responses. Just because you can defend does not mean you should stop trying to de-escalate the situation. More self-defense will be taught later to those who have proven to have control over their anger and have achieved balance. Oh and yet another reiteration of breathing.
Various de-escalation techniques, the tapes will be reviewed to ensure that the most effective de-escalation techniques are being used and up to date. Again, this is done in a positive reinforcement way. We are not telling them what they are doing wrong, we are showing them exactly how we want it done so there is no question. In this job hesitation can lead to escalation, which is unsafe for everyone in the community.
The Company Policy, this includes obeying the laws and how to treat the community.
This is turning a negative into a positive. If these people were not given this opportunity, they would probably make others afraid. Now they can get paid to intimidate but for the good of the community. They will have many people thank them for what they do. Strangers will come up to them and thank them. They will see how good it feels to help and get paid well for it. This is a high-risk job so it should pay well!
The reason for having more bodies than necessary is to deter the problem. However, there will always be those that do not listen. Over enough time taking care of the problems, we will have less and less. Eventually people will get the message and just realize if they try to go against a restraining order they will be caught and they will not have the chance to harm the person they wish to in any way.
The Restraining Order Enforcers can also be neighborhood watch. I want them on a first name basis with those they protect. They should know who belongs and who does not. I want them to be so helpful that the neighborhoods are thankful enough to bring out food for them on a regular basis.
The Restraining Order Enforcers are needed as a presence. This does not mean that they cannot multitask. While being a presence, they can also help around the community. Helping the elderly, disabled and children as a priority. While nothing is happening they could do repairs around the home or women’s shelters. Clean up, repair and put in free outdoor exercise equipment in the parks. They will renovate the neighborhood and the neighborhood will renovate them. Oh yes, while nothing is going on they can also train.
I want them to feel what family is like and that you do not need to make bad choices to be a part of a family. There is always a better choice, there is always this choice. We must also make it possible to do this job without being a prisoner or in a gang. That too is negative reinforcement. We would rather get the kids before they get into the gangs rather than force them to make bad choices just to meet our prerequisites.
Waivers must be signed and it must be made clear that at times they might need to put themselves in harms way to defend those in need in the community. You must follow our de-escalation techniques to the letter to make the offender less likely to have a lasting anger towards you. That is also the point of a uniform, they are less likely to take it personal. There is however no guarantee of that, we are typically dealing with very unstable personalities. Unfortunately these people are worse when they drink or do drugs, which is typically every day. So remember do not make it personal! Besides, if you are doing anything to make it personal, you are probably not using the pre-approved de-escalation techniques.
Follow around the person who requested the restraining order with more than enough Restraining Order Enforcers and video cameras. When the offender shows up we will have potential clips for the TV Show. We must ensure at all times to portray the offender as an idiot when they make bad choices not glorifying those bad choices in any way. The clips point out all of the bad choices that are made on camera. We must show that we as a society do not approve of these actions. If the Restraining Order Enforcers point it out in the manor needed to be entertaining, it will escalate the situation so we will add that later. We need to make sure to do it in a fashion the public would find entertaining and the offender would find embarrassing. We are trying to create entertaining socially responsible TV. Also the videotape works great in the courtroom as evidence. Hearing someone say he was intimidating and actually seeing it can mean the difference of years in a sentence. Plus having the Restraining Order Enforcers and video cameras around it increases the probability of deterring or stopping other crimes.
This will not only be men followed around, women are abusers as well. Imagine meeting someone new and things seem to be going great. You have reached that curiosity stage where you might google their name. Imagine finding video of them tormenting an ex in a violent rage. Would this be information you would want to easily access? I know I would.
When people talk about the cost it is so linear. We need a paradigm shift towards a circular economy.
(James Greysons Paper on Circular Economy) http://www.wiserearth.org/resource/view/6cde9add775de8a2ead56e6234d9ec7a
They think this year’s budget, not how it will benefit them in the long run. We care about stockholders not people or the planet. So let me appeal to the CEO in you. They are taxing on the system, wasting valuable resources. If we do this, both spouses and the children will be far more productive members in society. People are far more productive when they are happy. And lastly stray bullets do not care how much you make or what neighborhood you live in.
Everyone should be taught the difference of being helpful and being hurtful. Shown how it truly does feel better to be helpful than it does to be hurtful. Although I am well aware there are those that know what it feels like to be helpful they just choose to be hurtful. My hope is to teach this more and more and each generation it is taught we will have less and less of those that choose to be hurtful.
Lets choose to evolve. Choose to…
Be Helpful, Not Hurtful
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