The schemes of the gentry fail to amaze us yet again in another affront to revolutionary proletarians. Is the proletarian not entitled to the simplest of modern amenities, the toilet? To modern plumbing? Is it righteous that the proletarian nightly engage in stealth to urinate freely and with dignity? These are the questions recently renewed for the modern worker as yet another landlord, an archaic vestige of western enlightenment, decadent and decayed, has challenged the very sanctity of the basic right to lavatories.

We ask earnestly, for the sake of comrade Whizzlepuff, that this petition be considered immediately for the installation of bathroom to restore not only the dignity of a friend to the revolution, but eliminate such child's play in having to surreptitiously ascend to the lord's own lavatory each night, a violating and repulsive requirement compounded upon the daily affront of rents paid.

These demands must be met in accordance not only with the requirement of said lavatory, but also in its design: all designs shall be approved and provided by comrade Whizzlepuff; and all monies needed for the addition will be provided by the lord.

Workers of the world, unite! Unite to restore the dignity and honor of our kin, and make the oceans resound with our power as a working class and people!

 - Alexander Frederick Bouskosian, Freedom Fighter