Pardon Punxsutawney Phil!
Punxsutawney Phil is a Groundhog who on Groundhog Day, Feb. 2, 2013, did not see his shadow and declared Spring would come early! As many parts of the Nation prepare for yet another snow storm days after Spring, many have called for the prosecution and death sentence of Punxsutawney Phil! Don't let it happen!
We are calling on President Obama to pardon Punxsutawney Phil for several reasons:
Even though Punxsutawney Phil may posses an intellectual capacity greater than many people nowadays, he is a "groundhog" and therefore should be immune from prosecution under legal guidelines meant for homosapiens.
For many years, Punxsutawney Phil has acted as an official of the State of Ohio that would render him functional immunity from prosecution, or immunity ratione materiae.
While officials in Butler County, Ohio have railroaded poor Punxsutawney Phil for there being a national outcry of the late arrival of Spring, there is video proof that hundreds if not thousands of photography flashes obscured Phil's ability to see his shadow on that fateful day of Feb,2 2013.
Even though Spring has been delayed, hundreds of thousands of children across the Country have enjoyed additional days off from school from lingering snow, and many have been able to add to their monster snow forts.
Finally, as with most defenses nowadays, we believe Phil is too cute to ever be convicted.
Aside from an official Presidential pardon, we are calling on the President to award Punxsutawney Phil an extra banana and apple this evening for the emotional distress brought on by the State of Ohio!