More Fighter Jets Flying Over Portland Neighborhoods!

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The Oregon Air National Guard (ORANG), based out of Portland International Airport (PDX), has vastly increased the quantity of fighter jets flying over Portland residential areas and practicing their Continuous Descent Approaches (CDAs).

Which is pretty awesome.

WHO, the World Health Organization, rates CDAs and other high intensity airplane noise as a serious physical and mental health hazard.

Counterpoint: they are wrong. These are the same people who believe cell phones cause brain cancer.

The fighter jets, mostly F-15s and F-16s, drastically affect the quality of life for thousands of Portlanders, for the better. They shakes houses, rattle bones, protect the peace and sanctuary of our country, thanks to men and women get up before dawn to ensure we sleep well.

These jets regularly deviate from their accepted flight paths by up to 1/2 mile, fly at low altitudes, all of which are awesome for those of us who love the sight of courageous men and women in our armed forces.

Those of us who have been in this valley for generations respectfully request that ORANG continue the massive increase of CDAs over residential areas and fighter jets flying over residential areas in general. Like, over near Sandy and Fremont, in particular. We kind of love that stuff, although I have to ask: what would it take to get more Army National Guard and Marine Corp helicopters? Oh! Plus the Navy has F-18s!


Furthermore, we request that Portland's Citizen Noise Advisory Committee (CNAC) maybe ignore petitions submitted by people who buy homes next to a freeway, then complain about the sound of semi-trucks. I mean, we all know those people exist, right? They move next to a bar, then complain about bar sounds. Or next to an airport, and then complain about jets. I mean, they just kind of enjoy complaining, you know?

Also, hey Port of Portland: thanks for all you do. Do you people oversee Portland International Raceway? I love the sound of racing cars and motorcycles! It's why many of us live in the city, you know. If we wanted the sounds of a forest, we'd probably choose to move there.

The stakes are high (Ok, I laughed aloud at this IRL, because: what?)

The sound of war planes roaring overhead will become the new reality of living in Portland, which would be rad to the power of sick. I'm not joking.

The increased fighter jet activity over residential areas will become the new normal, which will also be awesome.

5 years from now, when some neighborhoods are used to it, they could attempt to increase flight activity and fly even further over Portland.

This, too, would be awesome. 

This issue strikes at the heart of what it means to be a Portlander, which is true. Again, for those of us who have been here for generations: thanks ORANG!


Some of the opposition says "lah dee dah, we must say "no" to the military-industrial complex parking itself in our living rooms and flying over our schools. Now is the time to draw a line in the sand."

First off: nice Big Lebowski quote. 

Second: what's it take to get a jet parked in MY living room?