Have Pope Francis Bless FINDERS KEEPERS Star John Wood's Amputated Leg
This petition had 17 supporters
The Pope will be in NYC on September 25th, the same day that Sundance sensation FINDERS KEEPERS opens in theaters. The critically acclaimed film is a chronicle of the unexpected media frenzy surrounding the rightful ownership of a mummified amputated leg found in a grill. John Wood, the man from whom the leg originally came and Shannon Whisnant, it's grill-bound discoverer, have been locked in a bitter feud ever since. We humbly ask that Pope Francis bless said amputated limb and, in the process, bring about a lasting peace between these two American heroes.
Dear Pope Francis,
We wanted to reach out about one of the great struggles of our modern era, a conflict we feel that only your holiness has the power to truly resolve. Is it Israel and Palestine you may ask? Global Warming? ISIS?
No. In fact, this is a rift the likes of which have not been seen since biblical times. A rift that has torn a small American town apart and affected tens of people. Yes, Pope Francis, we are of course speaking of the notorious feud between the stars of the Sundance documentary sensation FINDERS KEEPERS: John Wood and Shannon Whisnant.
Psalms 147:10 reads, "He does not delight in the strength of the horse; He does not take pleasure in the legs of a man." And yet, take pleasure in the leg of a man Shannon Whisnant did, after he found John Wood's amputated leg in a grill he had purchased at a foreclosure auction. Over the course of the ensuing media circus and fight for said amputated limb, the feud between Shannon and John has escalated to alarming heights and devastated an already fragile nation.
In what must be divine coincidence, you will be making your first trip to New York City on the eve of the film's September 25th release date. In seeking your wisdom on this matter, we feel a resolution may finally be reached. We humbly ask you to bless said amputated leg and, in the process, bring about a lasting peace between these two righteous men. Help us Pope Francis, you're our only hope.
L.E.G. (Limb Emancipation Group)
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