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“The world is a dangerous place to live, not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it.”
― Albert Einstein
"Imagine all the people living life in peace. You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one. I hope someday you'll join us, and the world will be as one."
If we are fighting against bullies, then will be a good chance for the future, that bullies are dying species.
Think it over, if you are a bullying victim and survivor:
Your life isn't over! You are not ruined. And you are not worthless.If the bullying only includes words, don’t escalate the situation. Just walk away silently. Don’t even acknowledge the situation. Don’t act scared, just never even make eye contact with the bully. Act as if they did not exist. If they can’t torture you, they probably will lose interest.
When they try to interact with you try to keep a completely blank look on your face and continue whatever you were doing. This will really frustrate them, and you’ll be putting yourself in a powerful position.
Never enter a fight that you can’t win. If the bully has a lot of his friends around don’t try to get physical. Avoid a fight at all costs.Even if you win the fight, you might need to leave very quickly. Take account of your surroundings and where you’ll escape to.
If you know the bully is stronger than you, try packing your hands. Keep two rolls of quarters in your backpack. When the bully confronts you, take them out and hold one in either hand. Your punch will be much more powerful with the weight of the quarters behind it. You can also throw the quarters at the person if you are in a desperate situation. Holding quarters will also prevent fractures.
Make sure that you don’t grip your thumbs when you punch. You might break them.
Don’t wait until you’re in a position of weakness. If the bully has pushed or mocked you, he probably won't have his guard up. If this is something he does commonly, you are entitled to fight back. Hit/kick him hard in a weak spot as hard as you possibly can, and then follow that up with multiple other hits. One of the biggest mistakes that people can make in a fight is throwing one punch, and then backing off. As soon as you enter the fight you have to stay on the offensive to avoid retaliation. You can end the fight quickly.
Don’t pull your punch. Hitting someone isn’t a good feeling. We have a natural tendency to pull our punches, which means not following through on your momentum. You need to punch hard. nless you’re trained in wrestling, try to avoid going to the ground. If he rapidly punches, keep dodging. You cannot effectively block punches in a real fight. Duck his punches, or just otherwise avoid them. Turn the tides. Most people don’t like bullies. If you are in a public place and the kid is bullying you, don’t be afraid to call them out calmly and firmly. Tell them that picking on other people isn't cool, and you're not sure why they do it. Hopefully others will agree with you and let the bully know too. Bullying is meant to make you feel powerless. It is someone else seizing power. There is very little you can do to overcome this if you are willing to let the bully have that power. You have to remember that you are not alone. Everyone has been bullied at some point or another. It isn't always classic bullying, but it has happened.
Once you remember that you aren't alone, you can take the next step. Take the power away from the bully. The bully wants power, you have to decide that he/she can't have it. If they are looking for a reaction, don't give it. But most of all, have confidence in yourself. It's like facing down a growling dog. If you run, the dog will chase. It's instinct, and bullies are the same. But, if you stare that dog in the eye and growl back, the dog will back down 9 out of 10 times.Do not resort to rudeness yourself. Many bullies lose interest if you do not sink to their level. Also, if you act rudely and aggressively yourself, you may invite a physical confrontation, which could add physical hurts to the emotional.
Treat verbal bullying like war. The fundamental rule of war is “Know your enemy, and do not play his game–make him play yours.” If you don’t understand the bully’s game, you will lose. If you understand the bully’s game but play it anyway, you will lose. If you understand the bully’s game and do not play it, you will win.All verbal bullies play the same game: they want something from you (respect, distress, counter-insults) and push you into accepting something that belongs to them (their negative attention). Put differently, they are trying to get something from you, and trying to give something to you. What do bullies want from you? For you to do the following:
Give them attention
Act hurt or upset
Bully back or run away (fight or flight)
If you are bullied, then you can and almost certainly will feel upset. You may feel close to tears. This is completely normal and expected. Don’t waste energy being mad at yourself because you feel this way. Conserve your energy. The key to your defense is not to show your feelings. Relax your face and body. If possible, smile. A smile is one of the very best weapons at your disposal because it is exactly the opposite of what the bully wants.Don’t play the bully’s game. Deny the bully your upset, your respect, and your “fight or flight” stance. Frustrate the bully’s expectations. The beggar tries to force the CEO to accept a paper flower and give him coins. The CEO can can refuse to take the flower or give the money. By analogy, this rule says “don’t give the beggar coins (upset, attention, insults) and don’t keep his flower (insults).”
Specifically, use the “big six” tactics of 1) ignoring; 2) dismissing; 3)misunderstanding; 4) agreeing; 5) ribbing; and 6) reflecting.
Ignoring: If you ignore the bully without looking like you are running away, then this tactic is effective. This tactic works great when you are wearing headphones, talking on a cell, or conversing with someone else. You can glance briefly and quizzically at the bully, but turn away. A slight shrug is OK. Act as if you did not even hear what the bully said, or as if he said it in a foreign language.
Dismissing: In this tactic, you acknowledge the bully, but brush him off in a way that shows he doesn’t matter. The key move in the brush-off is turning away afterward. You don’t want to sit there staring at the bully, waiting for another comment.
For inspiration, imagine yourself as a CEO brushing off a panhandler. You might say, “How’s it going” or “Maybe later” or “I’ll get back to you” and turn away. One-word brush-offs are good. “‘Sup.” “Cute.” “Clever.” “Right.” “I see.” “OK.” “Huh.” “Gotcha.”
Nonverbal brush-offs are good. You show the bully he is not worth enough to waste words on. Yawn. Nod. Shake your head. Scratch your chin. Purse your lips. Look puzzled, as if someone just spoke to you in a foreign language. Turn to someone else, roll your eyes, and stick your thumb at the bully as if to say, “Can you believe this guy?”
Misunderstanding: In this tactic, you pretend that you just received a compliment. Perhaps the bully says, “That’s a stupid hat.” Act like the CEO who was complimented by the beggar on his hat. “Thanks, I guess.” “Yeah, this hat is great.” “Glad you like it.” “You like hats.” Whatever insult the bully makes, misunderstand it as a compliment. You can also turn the compliment into a joke. “Like it? When I get my hat [or shirt etc.] business going, you can be my distributor.”
A variation on misunderstanding is mishearing. You never can’t make out what the bully is saying, as if you are hard of hearing.
BULLY: “You have a stupid shirt.”
YOU: “Did someone say something?”
BULLY: “Yeah, I said you have a stupid shirt.”
YOU: “Sounds like someone is saying he has a stupid shirt,” or “You’re shirt is a little dated, but it’s not stupid. Don’t be so hard on yourself.”
BULLY: “Loser. Idiot. You know what I’m saying.”
YOU: “I hear this high whining sound, like an insect. Or is that someone talking?” BULLY: “Shut up, jerk, you know what I’m saying.”
YOU: “I wish this guy would make sense. Who knows what he’s even talking about.”
Agreeing: In this tactic, you agree with what the bully says, and make a joke of it. This tactic works well if a bully has a sense of humor. Say the bully says, “That’s a stupid hat.” You say, “If you like this one, you should see the one I wore yesterday. It was 2 feet (0.6 m) higher.” Or, “I’m thinking of adding stripes to it.” Or, “It’s biodegradable.” Basically, say anything that people listening would find funny. The bully himself might even laugh. In this case, his attack was rendered completely harmless.Note that that firing a joking insult back is not an element of the indirect defense. However, sometimes you can insert an insult into a joke. If the bully says, “You have a stupid haircut,” you might laugh and say, “Yeah, I agree. I told your boyfriend how to cut it, but he messed it up anyway.” If you use this tactic, be careful. You are on the verge of playing the bully’s game.
Ribbing: In this tactic, you rib the bully for his verbal ineptitude. Imagine that a goofy friend asks you for a game of one-on-one basketball. He dribbles with two hands, the ball slips out of his hands when he tries to shoot, he is immediately winded. He has no clue! You could bust up laughing and then walk away, saying nothing. The “laugh and go” approach can be very effective because it shows the bully he is too ridiculous to warrant a comment. Shake your head and keep chuckling to yourself as you walk away.
Reflecting: You can also use words. You might chuckle at him good-naturally, shake your head, and say, “Man, is that your best game? You need work.” Or, “A for effort. Come back and see me when you’ve got skills.” Or, “Your game needs serious work. I can hook you up with some trainers.” Or, “Dude, that was just lousy. You can do better.” Or, “Your game definitely needs work.” You get the idea.
Remember, all bullies give you something (their attention) and try to get something (a negative reaction). One effective tactic against persistent bullies is to make fun of all the attention the bully is giving you. This is like holding up a shield when the bully throws a ball at you: the ball bounces back and hits the bully. The more balls he throws, the more he hits himself.
Remember, you can always win the game against bullies because they are cowards, nothing more and nothing less.Remember that you will always have the moral high ground. If someone says a mean insult, no matter how and when, you are always the better person. When someone bullies, they are showing a sign of weakness and insecurity. Even if its just a one off insult by someone, they are still showing a sign of them being weak and insecure. Do your best not to feel sad and upset, because what bullies do is they try and transfer something that makes them upset to you. Always remember that you are a wise person that has chosen not to go down the path that unfortunately, most people take.
I was bullied and stalked in college and at workplace. I got rape threats from a psychopathic classmate (a cowardly idiot) and at the workplace there was a rape attempt by a male superior, a real horny dumb ass.
I was stalked and harassed by an misogynist ex-tenant (a cowardly asshole) and his entire circle of friends. There were damages to property, slander on the Internet, cybermobbing, telephone terror, rape threats and death threats.
The unintelligible thing about the whole thing is, all Mobbers and Stalkers had spectators, bystanders and helpers, also females. How can women and girls in this world be so stupid to be not on their own side?
I have therefore the opinion that the cowardly crimes stalking and bullying are punished as hard as possible and that helpers, bystanders and spectators must be also severely punished.
Bullying and stalking should not be more straightforward in the future. In cases where bullying and stalking leads to death or ends with rape, gang rape, sexual torture, murder and suicide, there should be high lifelong imprisonment for all parties, including helpers and spectators.
The female betrayal of female victims is as old as the world. Because of this men worldwide call women dumb and inferior. The female betrayal includes bullying, slander, hate speech, psychoterror, abuse, violence, stalking, participation in FGM, child murder, abortion of female fetuses, femicide, forced marriages, childhood marriages, honor murder, dowry murder, sex murder, sexual torture, acid attacks, witch hunts, sex slavery, rape pornography, forced prostitution. Female treason also means excusing the perpetrators and accusing the victims. This is a worldwide disgrace and must have an end.
“Life is a ﬁght, but not everyone’s a ﬁghter. Otherwise, bullies would be an endangered species.”
― Andrew Vachss, Terminal
“They will hate you if you are beautiful. They will hate you if you are successful. They will hate you if you are right. They will hate you if you are popular. They will hate you when you get attention. They will hate you when people in their life like you. They will hate you if you worship a different version of their God. They will hate you if you are spiritual. They will hate you if you have courage. They will hate you if you have an opinion. They will hate you when people support you. They will hate you when they see you happy. Heck, they will hate you while they post prayers and religious quotes on Pinterest and Facebook. They just hate. However, remember this: They hate you because you represent something they feel they don’t have. It really isn’t about you. It is about the hatred they have for themselves. So smile today because there is something you are doing right that has a lot of people thinking about you.”
― Shannon L. Alder
The heinous crime: Bullied to suicide:
'Gang-rape victim', 17, kills herself 'after her attackers took picture of the assault and sent it to classmates who branded her a slut'
Rehtaeh Parsons 'was raped by four classmates when she was 15'!
They 'took a photo of the attack and circulated it around the school'!
Classmates and friends shunned her and she was forced to leave#!
Police investigated but did not press charges due to insufficient evidence!
A 17-year-old girl has killed herself after four boys raped her and spread a photograph of the assault, causing classmates and friends to taunt and cyber-bully her, her mother has said.
Rehtaeh Parsons from Nova Scotia, Canada hanged herself in her family's bathroom on Thursday after months of torment and, on Sunday night, her parents took her off life support.
Questions are now emerging over whether authorities and her friends did enough to help Rehtaeh, who relatives said quickly slipped from an A-student to a moody, unpredictable teenager.
No charges were ever brought against Rehtaeh's alleged attackers following the assault in 2011; an investigation was launched but authorities concluded they did not have enough evidence.
On a Facebook tribute page, her mother, Leah Parsons, described how her daughter was forever changed by the alleged assault in their hometown of Cole Harbour.
'She went with a friend to another's home,' her mother wrote. 'In that home, she was raped by four young boys. One of those boys took a photo of her being raped and decided it would be fun to distribute the photo to everyone in Rehtaeh's school and community, where it quickly went viral.'
The alleged attack left then 15-year-old Rehtaeh an outcast at Cole Harbour District High School, where her rapists were also students. Friends, students and strangers taunted her, her mother said.
'People texted her all the time, saying "Will you have sex with me?"' she said. 'Girls texting, saying "You're such a slut".
'She was never left alone. She had to leave the community. Her friends turned against her. People harassed her... It just never stopped,' her mother told CBC.
Her parents moved from Cole Harbour to Halifax to help her escape the bullies and Rehtaeh made new friends and began hearing from her old school friends, who offered her their support.
She said her daughter also started therapy, which appeared to be helping. Yet she would become angry quickly, and last week's suicide attempt was probably the result of a mood swing, Leah said.
'She acted on an impulse, but I truly, in my heart of heart, do not feel she meant to kill herself,' her mother wrote on Facebook. 'By the time I broke into the bathroom, it was too late.'
The Canadian police launched an investigation, which took a year, but concluded there was insufficient evidence to bring up charges.
'An investigation into an earlier sexual assault was completed, and in consultation with the Crown, there was insufficient evidence to lay charges,' RCMP spokesman Cpl. Scott MacRae said.
They didn't even interview the boys until much, much later,' To me, I’d think you’d get the boys right away, separate them.”
Relatives said they saw the photograph but could not determine who had taken it, so were unable to charge the teenagers - even though the picture legally constituted child pornography.
'The whole case was full of things like that,' Leah said. We didn’t have a rape kit done because we didn't even know until several days later when she had a breakdown in my kitchen. She was trying to keep it to herself.'
RCMP spokesman Cpl. Scott MacRae confirmed to the Chronicle Herald that the authorities are currently investigating a sudden death involving a young person, but would not provide further details.
“If I had been armed with a feminist understanding that no girl deserves to be called a slut, perhaps I would have fought back by reporting the harassment to my school's headmistress or another school authority, or at least I might have had the strength to tell of the name-callers on my own. But at the time, all I knew was that if I avoided eye contact, it was a hell of a lot easier to get through my days.”
― Leora Tanenbaum, Slut!: Growing Up Female with a Bad Reputation
Voices of bullied survivors:
“I was bullied by this one girl who said, ‘I just want to punch you in the mouth because you’re happy.’ Now of course I can laugh at that, but back then I was so hurt. I think a lot of people understand having been bullied. I don’t care who you are, someone has given you a hard time in your life. But I wouldn’t have traded it for anything because all of us have been bullied at one time and hopefully if we can overcome it, it makes us stronger.” – Parade, March 2012
“I was called really horrible, profane names very loudly in front of huge crowds of people, and my schoolwork suffered at one point. I didn’t want to go to class. And I was a straight-A student, so there was a certain point in my high-school years where I just couldn’t even focus on class because I was so embarrassed all the time. I was so ashamed of who I was … To this day, some of my closest friends say, ‘Gaga, you know, everything’s great. You’re a singer; your dreams have come true.’ But, still, when certain things are said to you over and over again as you’re growing up, it stays with you and you wonder if they’re true.” – The New York Times, March 2012
“I had been bullied at school. They called me Blubber. Teased me for wanting to act. Locked me in the cupboard. Laughed at me. I was even told that I might be lucky with my acting, if I was happy to settle for the fat-girl parts. I felt that I wasn’t enough, I wasn’t good enough. I didn’t look right … and all because I didn’t fit into someone else’s idea of ‘perfect.’ I didn’t have the perfect body … You can be from anywhere, and you can do anything. Believe it.” – WE Day, March 2017
“I got teased my entire school life. What they were picking on I don’t even understand. It was my skin color. Then when I got older, it was about my breasts. But I’m not victimized — I’m grateful. I think those experiences were strategically put together by God for the preparation of being in the music industry. It’s so easy for me to deal with the bulls—t now.” – Glamour, November 2013
“It’s sort of embarrassing to say, but as a bullied kid, [I said], ‘Well, you’re bullying me, but I’m making all As and I’m better than you!’ It’s a childish thing to say, and I was a child, but that was my mentality. ‘You’re bullying me, but I’m going to be rich and famous some day.’ [Laughs] I’m not rich yet.” – The Advocate, July 2014
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Thanks for adding your voice.
Thanks for adding your voice.