A Gunship for Sparrow

A Gunship for Sparrow

April 1, 2020
Petition to
Phoenix and
Signatures: 9Next Goal: 10
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Why this petition matters

Started by Phoenix

It is International Sparrow-Fest Day. To celebrate the Chief Flying Terror, we shall petition J-Dawg to invest in an attack helicopter and a lifetime supply of donuts.

  • Helicopter must be painted blue
  • MUST have custom donut compartment
  • MUST have onboard heating/cooling
  • MUST have at least four (4) heavy machine guns and two (2) missile pods to destroy those Halcyon nerds. Especially Falcon.
  • MUST have custom paint work by Sparrow herself. (Recommended: BRING IT ON V.2, Dead Falcon, Sparrow's face painted on the sides, J-Dawg)
  • MUST have included keychain to hang in front of the windshield, bearing Sparrow's face
  • MUST have a top speed of a kabajillion miles per second
  • MUST have a flamethrower 
  • Actually, can you cut out two more seats to stuff in more party people?
  • MUST have free range to destroy as she pleases
  • MUST stop donut shaming Sparrow. Donut shame J-Dawg instead
  • Sparrow, get off my computer
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Signatures: 9Next Goal: 10
Support now