Remember that time that one petition saved the world?

Yea, me neither. Which is why we at the Lottery Party are demanding that the United States Supreme Court take measures to ban all petitions, regardless of content or aim. No more vegetarian lesbians shoving clipboards in our faces while we're at the coffee shoppe- we don't care how hot she is. No more electronic petitions clogging up our email spam filters or online social networking friend feeds. No more snail mail junk for the already overburdened postal carriers to contend with. No more petitions, period. They are a waste of paper, waste of intraweb reading time, and a complete waste of energy. If concerned parties really cared, then they should go all Rambo and take down City Hall themselves, and leave the rest of us lazy bastards to our own daydreaming and ennui.

And what exactly are "they" doing with these lists anyhow? Stop the madness now, and help us to convince the Supreme Court to outlaw petitions of any and all kinds.
Free Speech is in fact groovy, but by God don't make us have to sign anything.

Working together, we can make it happen so that nobody else can work together to make it happen.

Let this petition be the last petition!