Replace all nouns referring to children with more accurate and fun terms

Replace all nouns referring to children with more accurate and fun terms

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Rollins Baird started this petition to People Everywhere and

Currently, human persons age 0-18 are referred to as kids, children, teenagers, ect. These words are boring, antiquated, and do not indicate the age of the human. In order to advance the human race, it is our duty to henceforth refer to:

  • Humans under 2 years old as Tadpoles (or Tads)
  • Humans 2-4 years old as Guppies
  • Humans 5-6 years old as Salamanders (or Lil Sals)
  • Humans 7-11 years old as Crew
  • Humans 12-18 years old as Impact.

This classification system will help clarify the age of humans and add fun (FUN!) to the lives of humans everywhere. After humans age out of Impact, they shall be forevermore known as Adults because they are big, large, and in charge of younger humans. Please share this petition in order to give humans everywhere the dignity of a precise and accurate categorical term based on age. 

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