Demanding that Patrick Shuman run a half-marathon w/ Caleb Bae for the sake of friendship

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Dear Patrick, 

We've been through a lot together. Since our freshmen year, we've walked through the highs and lows of life. And now, it's time to run. 

I have made an executive decision. This June, we are running a half-marathon together. It's for your own good. Trust me. 

Over the course of our training, we will burn a total of approximately 25,000 calories. And we all know, you need to burn these more than I do. 

You scrawny bean pole, it's time to take action. Take control of your life. Of our friendship. Run. Run fast. Run far. 

For all those who support this movement, great is your reward in heaven. Please, sign and share this petition to let Patrick know that he can't sit around and be passive about our friendship any longer. 

Thank you. 



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