Fire Jim Carrey as Dr Robotnik in the Sonic Movie and cast Andy Parsons

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Today it was announced that Jim Carrey, star of The Majestic, Mr Popper's Penguins and I Love You Philip Morris was cast as the iconic Dr Robotnik in Paramount Pictures upcoming Sonic the Hedgehog film. This is a travesty for a number of reasons.

1) Jim Carrey is too thin. He would not look sufficiently comical stuffed into a small flying car with a wrecking ball underneath.

2) Jim Carrey has a big beard and not a big sticky outy moustache.

3) Jim Carrey has hair and is too egotistical (see Jim and Andy: The Great Beyond) to go full bald.

4) Jim Carrey does not have the needed rage to be Robotnik.

I am aware they can do great things with CGI and swimming caps these days but why bother when a better choice is right under all of our noses and is presumably much cheaper?

I speak of course of former Mock the Week star Andy Parsons.

He would be better for these reasons:

1) Andy Parsons looks exactly like Dr Robotnik

2) Andy Parsons sounds like I imagine Dr Robotnik would sound (he doesn't speak in the Sonic games I have played).

3) Andy Parsons has appeared on an episode of Mock the Week called 'The Hedgehog Show.' This episode was deemed 'Too Hot for TV' and only released on DVD. I assume the reason for this (I haven't seen it) was an impassioned anti-hedgehog rant by Parsons. If this is the case then Parsons would really be able to tap into the hate that Robotnik feels for Sonic who is, after all, a hedgehog.

For these reasons and others to obvious to go into here. I really, really think Andy Parsons should play Dr Robotnik.


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