To Have An Affective Coparenting System In Place To Reduce The Number Of Absent Parents

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Hi everyone, last night (23rd of April 2018), my daughter yet again cried for her dad. Enough is Enough. There are too many absent fathers walking around and practically getting away with murder. There are mothers who purposely do keep their children away from their dads for their own selfish reasons and personal vendettas that they have against the dad and those women need to be dealt with too and at the end of the day; the children suffer. The only reason why a father should not be around their children is if he's abusive i.e. he is harmful to his children in any type of way but this is not what I am talking about here. I am talking about the fathers who have no issues who just simply refuse to not give up their lives for their children. The fathers who have time to have a lie in; a father who has time to pursue his career and not care for this children; the fathers who have time to date; party; go on holidays and basically live their lives as if they do not have any children at all. Well, enough is enough. This is part of the reason as to why all this knife crime and gun crime rubbish is happening around the capital even though its always been around, it wasn't like this. I mainly blame absent fathers.

Just to give you a little background as to who I am. My name is Oyinda, I have been a single mother for nearly 4 years now. My daughter's father does nothing for his child. He does not call for her consistantly; makes empty promises when he does remember that he has a daughter and purposely quits his job each and every time child support are suppose to take payments from his wage each month.

Because of the dipping in and out of my daughter's life; it has now caused her to be crying for her dad and missing him which breaks my heart. I have tried to reach out to him begging him to even pretend to love her. He claims to but obviously they are just words. Last night was the last straw when she cried again. So, I wrote a lengthy email to my local MP asking if there can be stricter policies on absent parents almost like a Coparenting System (Co-Parenting Support). I have been forced to give up so much for my daughter and I wouldn't change that for the world but for my daughter's father to carelessly make children and for him to decide that he doesn't want to be a parent really gets to me. So the point of this message was to see if I was to start a petition or campaign for the government to put in place to literally force these absent parents to coparent or face a fine or jail time. 

It may sound harsh but desperate times call for desperate measures. There are so many women that are raising children alone - particularly boys. Where are their fathers? its almost become the norm to not have a 'dad' in their lives. These men have way to much freedom in deciding as to whether or not they choose to be a father or not. Therefore; I would love to get as much support as possible to get these fathers who have signed their child's birth certificate to do their jobs as fathers. 

What I would love for the government to do is:

Create a system which is like the Child Maintenance System where the lone parent can apply via the government website for the absent parent to start being a parent to their child(red). Prior to this, both parents should try to come to an affective Co-Parenting solution that will help them. If the absent parent is not doing what they are suppose to, then the parent with custody can apply for Co-Parenting Support. (in which the absent parent will have to pay a monthly fee of out of their pay). 
The absent parent must call for their child(ren) at least once a week (if they can’t they need to have a valid reason which they will need to put into this system by filling in an online form).

  1. The absent parent must attempt to visit their child(ren) at least once a week  (if they can’t i.e. they work abroad; they are in the army; they have been hospitalised they will need to put this in the form). 
  2. The absent parent must pay Child Maintenance for each child.
  3. If the absent parent does not adhere to these without a valid reason; they are fined. If this happens for more than 3 months in a row they are imprisioned. 

If the mother is purposely preventing the father from fulfilling his fatherly duties; she must be fined or then imprisoned and he is given sole custody. 
The only reason why these might be an issue is if the father is abusive; an addict or a threat to the child. (This will all need to be proven). 

This might seem drastic but in the UK there are over 2million lone parents. It will get people to really think before having children and it will help people to raise children responsibly.  There are way too many women (particularly) that are struggling alone to raise children and something has got to change. I really hope that I can convince the government to enforce stricter laws on these fathers choosing to be selfish and irresponsible. Please help me to make a change. It will reduce gang crimes; knife crimes; lone parents on benefits. It will have such a positive impact on the community.

 

Many thanks,

Oyinda 





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