Make the Brownie Recipe Public
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The Onslow College brownie system is a scam. Students are forced to pay an exorbidant $2.50 for a brownie that decreases in size every year, and yet because we have no way of creating our own substitute brownies at home, we keep playing directly into the hands of the evil corporation: the Onslow College Canteen.
Furthermore, not only does the brownie keep decreasing in size at a rate more than making up for inflation as the price stays constant, the variability in mass makes it impossible for a desparate student to know what they are purchasing. Many brownies are sold with masses well below the mean, and unless you are buddies with the student serving you, you can not bargain for a better brownie. Under the Consumer Guarantees Act if goods are not acceptable in finish or appearance the consumer can request an exchange, and this surely includes brownies that are tiny and ugly.
There is only one true solution to this problem. The OC canteen could make their brownie system more consistent, with all brownie masses being within one standard deviation of the mean, but this will never happen. Therefore, the Onslow Canteen must publish its brownie recipe or continue inflicting inhumane practices on the students. This recipe will be provided immediately, or the student body will proceed to contact Mr Leggat directly as well as request the recipe from the Ministry of Education under the Official Information Act. Failing this, we will be forced to reasonably conclude that the reason for the recipe being kept locked up like the Krabby Patty formula is that the secret ingredient is marijuana.
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