Nick Edwards: Do not change your profile picture!
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HEAR ME MORTAL PLEBS OF THE WORLD
It has come to my attention that there is currently a petition circulating concerning the profile picture of "Nick Edwards", advocating for it to be brutally discarded without cause. This proposition is disgusting, outlandish, and ultimately blasphemous to me, your God.
Needless to say, this is no ordinary profile picture. This beautiful piece of art was born by the hand of my holy son, Geoffley Smoth, in the spiritual and majestic surroundings of the Swiss Alps. Taken at the summit of Mont Blanc, the most phrygian dominant mountain in the 12 tone world, it is truly the epitome of all dominant function.
The destruction of this perfectly consonant motif would, without question send tri-tones resonating throughout the world for all eternity.
I hereby command that Nick Edwards is not to alter, in any way, shape or form, his profile picture, lest he be subjected to my wrath.
To all who have signed the aforementioned piece of blasphemy: You have one minute to right this wrong. If you do not sign this petition to atone for your terrible sin. If you do not, you are hereby banished to a world beyond this one, where all perfect cadences are replaced with ii - V - I° progressions. You have 1 minute to change your fate...
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