In the hours after birth, a woman is expected to do without any familial support with their new arrival. For the most part fathers/partners are given visiting hours to attend the following day, with the occasional exception where a kindly midwife allows them to stay in those precious hours after birth. This needs to change. 

This was all the more acute during the pandemic where pregnant people were expected to go through the entire pregnancy process alone with no leave for partners to attend antenatal appointments where they provide essential support, which other petitions addressed at the time. My husband and I chose to have our son, but an out-of-date rule book determined how the three of us spent his first hours. A rule which left all of us feeling isolated, reprimanded and unsupported.

Women are rightly prioritised in maternal care but to the detriment of father and baby. This is not a pandemic issue, but one at the heart of maternity care.

My personal experience of this saw me with such high blood pressure from the stress of the apprehension of being forced to give birth alone that I was forced to be admitted to the antenatal ward 5 days ahead of my son’s arrival in September 2020. We were some of the lucky ones in some respects as the restrictions at our hospital relaxed the day I was admitted. My husband was able to be with me 7am-7pm in the 5 days of attempted induction ahead of birth and throughout the birth. However, he was forced to leave hours after his son was born leaving me post caesarean, exhausted after 25 hours of labour, paralysed from the chest down while the anaesthetic wore off, catheterised and alone in bloodied sheets which were not changed until I self discharged, with an hours old baby who would not sleep. He was able to visit for only 2 hours the following day. Frankly it’s dangerous. 

Had my husband been allowed to stay in my curtained area, I could have slept while he bonded with our son who was also born on my husbands birthday. As it was, a lovely midwife took my son for a couple of hours for me to get some sleep as I was falling asleep feeding him. By the time I got home, I had been awake barring some short snatched sleep for over 50 hours. And this is a good outcome. Some mothers are forced to stay on the ward for days on end with no respite after birth. Maternity services are stretched, partners are an invaluable to the support team after birth. No matter how smooth the birth is, it is taxing on your mental and physical well-being and you need support. 

Pregnancy and birth is overwhelming enough without removing the support network each pregnant person has built around them at such a crucial time. Fathers/Partners are not visitors and should not be considered so. They form an integral part of the birthing process not only as antenatal and post-natal support but as an advocate for the mother's birthing choices and post birth care for mother and baby.

I would like to see it that fathers/partners are assumed to be part of the process with a formalised policy of inclusion for both parents, not actively excluded from the process of birth. Be that with the addition of reclining chairs as in some Scottish NHS trusts or simply having somewhere to make tea without being reprimanded. Let's start the conversation with a view to delivering an inclusive policy which regards the rights of both parents as a given.