If I have to be quarantined in my house for three weeks with no toilet paper, I want to spend every minute of those three weeks watching the cinematic masterpiece that is Tom Hooper's 2019 film CATS. I want my every waking moment until April 7th to be filled with a wide array of unsettling anthropomorphic animated demon-creatures begging cat Judy Dench to be chosen to die and leave their hellish cat fever dream through song and dance. Take a look at some of the powerful and inspiring lyrics this acid-trip of a movie proffers:

"Jellicles can and Jellicles do
Jellicles can and Jellicles do
Jellicles can and Jellicles do
Jellicles can and Jellicles do"

- Andrew Lloyd Weber, 1981

In addition to its innovative music and dance sequences, the CGI animation in the movie is so uniquely traumatizing and addictively disturbing, you will never be able to stop watching CATS. Seriously. You will never stop watching CATS. There is no world outside CATS, CATS is the only truth and must be protected and worshipped at all costs. CATS is our leader now. 

These are dark times, give the people what they want Netflix. Give us the cats. CATS is the solution to this madness. We need CATS.