Memorialize Hugh Hefner's Manhood in the Smithsonian National Museum of American History
This petition had 29 supporters
Hugh Hefner served at the forefront of the American sexual revolution and was not only a tireless champion of the First Amendment, but an inexhaustible fornicator of epic proportions.
The notorious exploits of Mr. Hefner's shaft are tantamount to an unbreakable chain of American popular culture icons and objects of young men's fantasy. Truly, Hugh's member was the Olympic torch of carnal symbology; having the resilience and fortitude to persevere through over five decades of iconic debauchery.
While a request such as this could be considered somewhat plebeian or crass, it should be noted that there are over 137 million objects that call the Smithsonian home; from dinosaur poop to Abraham Lincoln's pocket watch. In fact, the Smithsonian presently enshrines numerous body parts. While Mr. Hefner's johnson may fall short of Albert Einstein's brain with regard to its historical significance, it inconstestable that this particular phallus has provided far greater inspiration and historical impact than many of the existing body parts within the museum's inventory. Examples would include Lazzaro Spallanzani's bladder or Union General Dan Sickles' leg. Surely the third leg of the General of the sexual revolution merits equal historical consideration.
Mr. Hefner and his cosmopolitan wedding tackle represent the tireless spirit of a revolution that altered the course of American history and personified the visceral dreams of a great many American young men. In life, Mr. Hefner's thunderstick was of service to thousands of men and women; and, if properly and tastefully memorialized, it can continue to inspire and awe for future generations to come.
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