Save our moon from being illegally mined

Save our moon from being illegally mined

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Gretchen Inkleheimer started this petition to NASA

For many years, people have debated whether global warming is fact or myth. The terrifying truth is that while global warming isn't going to melt ice caps and cause flooding to coastal regions, illegal mining to the moon will take care of that.

It's a well-known fact that cheese comes from milk, which comes from mammals, especially cows. But what the media won't tell you is that while milk CAN make cheese because it has just the right minerals, that isn't our main source. No, the main source of cheese is none other than our moon, which is composed of minerals very similar to the ones found in coagulated milk. It's no coincidence that old folk tales say that the moon is made of green cheese. It's a well-established scientific fact and, in fact, we've actually had the rocket power to go to the moon since the mid-nineteenth century. That's why cheese is such a popular food choice -- it's so readily available due to the large stores found under the moon's surface.

But this comes at a terrible price. As Earth's population is growing, larger and larger amounts of cheese are being extracted from the moon's core. It is beginning to alter the moon's mass and cause irregularities in the lunar orbit. That, in turn, causes the Earth's tides to become erratic. In another 50 years, it's likely that coastal cities such as New York City or Honolulu will be flooded by the fast-approaching tidewaters.

The only way to stop this is to put a hold on the reckless cheese-mining operations on the moon. Unfortunately, despite sending up several scientific expeditions in the past century, NASA has put no effort into stopping the reckless behavior of their industrial counterparts. They turned a blind eye to the obvious misuse of the moon's resources and even lied to the American people, claiming that Apollo 11 landed the first men on the moon. (More accurately, it landed the first scientific expedition on the moon -- there were plenty of cheese miners on before them.)

So NASA is allowing the rumors of global warming and the Apollo 11 crew being the first men on the moon to cover up the terrible truth -- our moon is rapidly losing mass due to reckless environmental destruction and unsustainable mining practices on the moon's surface.

This tragedy can be averted if we take three steps.

1) Boycott all companies which can't verify their cheese sources. Unless they can demonstrate that they get all their cheese from responsible sources, refrain from purchasing their products.

2) Write a letter to your legislators asking that they demand a probe into NASA and various cheese companies, as well as the FDA, to determine who is most responsible for the cover-up.

3) Sign this petition

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