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― Desmond Tutu
Did you know that bullying will usually stop in minutes if a bystander or friend steps up and takes action to support the person being bullied? Bystanders can stop bullying in its tracks.
When you see a bullying situation, it can be really scary to step up and help the person being bullied. But bystanders can be either part of the bullying problem, by ignoring it, or an important part of the solution. Here are some quick and simple steps you can take as a bystander to help stop bullying:
Don't stand by and watch or encourage bullying. If you’re feeling safe and you’ve got someone to back you up, step in and tell the bully to stop and that it’s not okay. Don't harass, tease or spread gossip about the bullying situation – sometimes this can escalate it and make it worse. This includes on social media such as Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc. Support the person who is being bullied to ask for help; for example, go with them to get help, or provide them with information about where help is available. If the bullying is happening online, help them block the person who is bullying them. Report the bullying to someone in authority or someone you trust – for example, to a teacher or a school counsellor, if it's taking place at school, or to a manager, if it’s at work. If the bullying is serious, report it to the police.
Being a bystander of bullying, you can step up, speak up and help stop bullying.
Especially bad at bullying is that the friends, family and close people are deceived by the mobbers and their supporters. It is often claimed by schools that there is no bullying at their school, simply because principals and teachers are also bullying. So people pretend to be friends or girlfriends of the victim to learn all about the victim and then finally destroy it. Some so-called friends and girlfriends of the victim then lure the victim even in traps that often end with the suicide of the victim.
When bullied students band together, the bullies try to destroy that alliance, usually with success, by promising some bullied students to join them in their circle of friends. These are also traps, because if once a bullying victim is destroyed, the next comes. Obviously, the bullies are not interested in getting bullied students into their circle, they just want to destroy one victim after another. The treachery among mobbing victims is still great, because there are many illusions and some bullied think they are one of circle of bullies and have now friends, when they betray another victim. Mobbers love the betrayal but not the traitors. Especially among girls, treachery of bullying victims and trapping, which often ends in physical and sexual violence, is widespread.
A now-dead girlfriend told me about how she and a other female classmate of her got into such a trap. By allegedly female best friends in class, my girlfriend was lured to an alleged party and in a vicious trap. Arriving at the home of an alleged girlfriend, she faced a gang of young men who offered her the choice of either giving everyone a blowjob and being filmed or tied up and to be raped by all and also filmed. In her distress, my girlfriend was in agreement with the blowjobs, while the treacherous girl filmed everything. Another female classmate of her was even got in a worse situation. She was lured by a alleged girlfriend on a student toilet, raped in groups there and scratched the initials of rapists in the cheeks. The girl left school with a nervous breakdown.
So much for allegedly best friends, who are often the worst enemies and bullies.
And if you think women and girls are not such bad bullies, that's a fatal mistake.
This experience was made by my husband and my brother. My husband was as little child for a short time at a convent school where nuns were incredibly mobbing, terrorizing and abusing children. Then, as a freshman in a primary school, he was so bullied and beaten by a group of girls because he was the youngest and most little student that he came to another class.
My brother had the same problem as the smallest and youngest elementary school student, he was beaten and bullied here by a girl gang and thery destroyed his school supplies too, so he was glad to come to another school after we moved.
My son was cruel bullied, beaten and slandered at school, a large comprehensive school with several school types in Stuttgart. The worst bullies were Head of the comprehensive school, Mrs. Liebelt, the first principal Mr. Hagen, his successor, the principal Mr. Röhrig and his deputy Mrs. Klass, the class teachers Mr. Barthel and Mrs. Weidler, the math teacher Mrs. Äckerle, the class mates Lennart Löscher, Marco Seifert, Behar Hasanaj, Oleksandr Lapidus, Lukas Schmidt, Philipp Reckerth, Marco Schwarz, Kevin Westenhöfer, Fabiano Poda, Rick Wagner, Fabian Schorer, Leoni Gerstenberg, Romy Loos.The parents of the bullies have been terrorizing the whole family since we lived here in the largest and most beautiful house on site. The terror went on indefinitely for many years even after my son changed schools.
I was bullied at the workplace in an heinous kind ( by my female boss Mrs. Wild and her right hand Miss Fischer during my first training at the telecommunications office in Stuttgart-Feuerbach and in my last job before retirement in Stuttgart, the largest trade union in Germany, by my boss Mrs. Jückstock and her right hand Mrs. Scheiwein) and also stalked privately and on the Internet by my ex-tenant Adis Fazlic,( at the rent time in Stuttgart, after that at least that's what he told my husband in Melbourne, Australia ). I was private a victim of gang stalking, online harrassment, identy theft, online slandering, hacking attacks, death and rape threats, sexual deep fakes, sexual cyberstalking and sexual witch hunts on the internet, telephone terror and damages of property of Mr. Fazlic and his female and male friends.
No one helped us, no one has done anything. All administrative receiver points have failed. In the case of my son teachers, school management, administrative terms, parents' council, lawyers, legal, in my case superiors, personnel office, works and stalking counseling centers.
This is a social indictment and has to change!
I can only advise you, never forget the faces and names of the bullies. Pray as I do every day that all these disgusting and vicious enemies of you and your loved ones will one day get a place in the deepest darkest hell and the life and death they deserve and wish them the worst daily like me , because these disgusting vultures really deserve it.
No place to bullies and stalkers in this world, do not support these psychopaths and sociopaths. Today, we have to change that, and the survivors of these crimes must get all legal and socially support that is possible.
We need to take bullying more seriously and have serious consequences for those who bully instead of the school turning their backs on the ones who need help. The school needs to change their policy so that bullies have stricter punishments. How many lifes is it going to take before schools take this issue serious? More than 16,000 young people are absent from school because of bullying . - 83% of young people say bullying has a negative impact on their self-esteem - 30% of young people have gone on to self-harm as a result of bullying . - 10% of young people have attempted to commit suicide as a result of bullying . - Those who have been bullied are more than twice as likely to have difficulty in keeping a job, or committing to saving compared to those not involved in bullying . - People who have been bullied are at greatest risk for health problems in adulthood, over six times more likely to be diagnosed with a serious illness, smoke regularly, or develop a psychiatric disorder compared to those not involved in bullying When are we going to take a stand and say NO and follow through with it instead of letting children lose their life's over something that could have been prevented. And one of the greatest crime has to stop: Cyberbullying and cyberstalking!
Cyberbullying is bullying that takes place over digital devices like cell phones, computers, and tablets. Cyberbullying can occur through SMS, Text, and apps, or online in social media, forums, or gaming where people can view, participate in, or share content. Cyberbullying includes sending, posting, or sharing negative, harmful, false, or mean content about someone else. It can include sharing personal or private information about someone else causing embarrassment or humiliation. Some cyberbullying crosses the line into unlawful or criminal behavior.
The most common places where cyberbullying occurs are:
Social Media, such as Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, and Twitter
SMS (Short Message Service) also known as Text Message sent through devices
Instant Message (via devices, email provider services, apps, and social media messaging features)
With the prevalence of social media and digital forums, comments, photos, posts, and content shared by individuals can often be viewed by strangers as well as acquaintances. The content an individual shares online – both their personal content as well as any negative, mean, or hurtful content – creates a kind of permanent public record of their views, activities, and behavior. This public record can be thought of as an online reputation, which may be accessible to schools, employers, colleges, clubs, and others who may be researching an individual now or in the future. Cyberbullying can harm the online reputations of everyone involved – not just the person being bullied, but those doing the bullying or participating in it. Cyberbullying has unique concerns in that it can be:
Persistent – Digital devices offer an ability to immediately and continuously communicate 24 hours a day, so it can be difficult for children experiencing cyberbullying to find relief.
Permanent – Most information communicated electronically is permanent and public, if not reported and removed. A negative online reputation, including for those who bully, can impact college admissions, employment, and other areas of life.
Hard to Notice – Because teachers and parents may not overhear or see cyberbullying taking place, it is harder to recognize.
And another crime is worldwide on a extreme rise; cybersexism!
You know how it goes: online abuse is not a form of male violence against women, but a general issue about faceless arseholes and idiots online. The internet is changing the rules of sex and power, but just as gender takes new forms online, so does misogyny, rape culture and sexual violence! Rape and death threats, sexual violence and sexual stalking, sexual defamation online are today the dangerous norm for all women, girls, boys and young people!
Together we can create a better world, if we only want to do it.
Bullied to suicide, sad cases:
Dawn-Marie Wesley (1986–2000), age 14, Canadian high school student who died of suicide by hanging due to bullying. She was a student who committed suicide, after allegedly experiencing a cycle of bullying by psychological abuse and verbal threats from three female bullies at her high school. She left behind a note to her family that referred to the bullying to which she had been subjected: "If I try to get help, it will get worse. They are always looking for a new person to beat up and these are the toughest girls. If I ratted, they would get expelled from school and there would be no stopping them. I love you all so much." She committed suicide by hanging herself with her dog's leash in her bedroom.
Nicola Ann Raphael (1985–2001), age 15, Lenzie Academy high school student, Scotland, who died by suicide via an overdose of Coproxamol due to bullying. Information requested for later legal action found that the bullying allegations went back over three years: "Internal papers just released reveal that 15-year-old Nicola Raphael, who took an overdose in 2001 after being tormented over her gothic appearance, had complained to teachers about alleged bullying long before she died ... the document shows staff clearly knew the youngster, whose suicide shocked the nation, had felt under threat of physical attack but did not inform her parents."
Ryan Halligan (1989–2003), age 13, was an American student from Essex Junction, Vermont, who died by suicide at the age of 13 after allegedly being bullied by his classmates in person and online. According to the Associated Press, Halligan was allegedly repeatedly sent homophobic instant messages, and was "threatened, taunted and insulted incessantly". Halligan's case has been cited by legislators in various states proposing legislation to curb cyber-bullying.In Vermont, laws were subsequently enacted to address the cyberbullying problem and the risk of teen suicides, in response. In 2008, his suicide and its causes were examined in a segment of the PBS Frontline television program entitled "Growing Up Online." His suicide has also been referenced in many other news stories on bullying.
Megan Meier (1992–2006), age 13, was an American teenager from Dardenne Prairie, Missouri, who died of suicide by hanging three weeks before her fourteenth birthday. A year later, Meier's parents prompted an investigation into the matter and her suicide was attributed to cyber-bullying through the social networking website MySpace. Allegedly, individuals intended to use Meier's messages to get information about her and later humiliate her.
Rehtaeh Parsons (1995–2013), age 17, a former Cole Harbour District High School student, attempted suicide by hanging on April 4, 2013, at her home in Dartmouth, Nova Scotia, Canada, leading to a coma and the decision to switch her life support machine off at Queen Elizabeth II Health Sciences Centre on April 7, 2013. Her death has been attributed to online distribution of photos of an alleged gang rape that occurred 17 months prior to her suicide, in November 2011.On a Facebook page set up in tribute to her daughter, Parsons' mother blamed the four boys who allegedly raped and released images of her, the subsequent constant "bullying and messaging and harassment," and the failure of the Canadian justice system, for her daughter's decision to commit suicide.
Brodie Panlock (1987–2006), age 19, was an Australian waitress from Melbourne who died after jumping from a multilevel carpark in Hawthorn. Her suicide was attributed to serious workplace bullying at the cafe where she worked. Her parents successfully lobbied the Victorian Government to amend the Crimes Act 1958 to include serious bullying as a criminal offence with a maximum penalty of ten years imprisonment.
Thanks for adding your voice.
Thanks for adding your voice.
This appears to be a premeditated heinous crime involving a web of actors and those with influence, and the punishment must reflect the criminal offence.