Getting rid of summer

Getting rid of summer

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Finch Goodwill started this petition to Local legislator

For as long as I can remember, there’s been this season called “summer”. Now this “summer” thing is often painted in a magical, somewhat mystical light: from childhood nostalgia to a feeling of freedom from some of your responsibilities. But throughout the years I’ve started to see what this “summer” actually is, an absolutely miserable few months which come and go every year and will continue to do so until the ultimate demise of the world as we know it. Here are just some of the many problems with “summer”:

•Bugs- as the cold, dark months of winter slowly melt into spring and then summer, these creatures slowly emerge prepared to concur the world (excluding Antarctica). Now there are some extremely helpful insects such as bumblebees, butterflies, fireflies, spiders and so forth. But with the good comes the bad, such as mosquitoes, ants, wasps, hornets, flies, etc... 


•The Sun- with the sun being about at its zenith, comes uncomfortably consequences. First being almost constantly hot temperatures. Each break of dawn brings forth false hope of the upcoming day being somewhat bearable. Second being the probable chance of one being physically affected by the Sun’s radiation in the form of painful burns. Granted even though sunscreen drastically reduces one’s chances of being seriously burned, it doesn’t fully prevent it.

•Jellyfish- with the warmer weather brings these blobs of jelly and pain to our waters naturally prepared for battle. They’ll show no mercy to no one! These blobs emerge from the darkness of the endless void of water each and every year and will just appear anywhere in the water. There’s no way to foresee where they will plan their next attack!

In summary, my overall point is that with all the uncomfortableness and misfortune summer brings with it each and every year, the only logical way to solve this problem would be to just eliminate summer entirely. Now how might one do that you might say? Well let me hastily explain my completely, totally, absolutely logical plan on how to do so! Instead of having a few months of “summer”, let’s eventually split the time between the seasons of spring and autumn. This will then create more time to celebrate spooky season while also providing ample time to prepare for the upcoming gardening season. 


So only with your help will I be able to achieve my life long dream of one day abolishing this atrocity of a season and restoring peace once again to my fellow summer hater people!

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